We’ve got some picky dicks, and we have subjected our junk to just about everything under the sun. In other words, we know a good sex toy when we see it – or feel it, rather. We also know how difficult it can be to find a good fake vagina that completely empties your balls, and it doesn’t help that some of them are crazy expensive.
In any event, someone needs to use and review the most popular sex toys before riots break out among men with painfully swollen crotches. Horny men need help – a carnal hero of sorts. Have no fear, we’ll take it from here. There’s no need to thank us. The pleasure is all ours (seriously).
Our Top 15 Toys For Men 2017
Listed below are our top 15 toys for men currently on the market. We have done our best to be as thorough and objective as possible, given the fact that we went balls deep in all of them and eventually discovered our own favorites. Here is what we think you should check out:
We thought that Kiiroo Onyx was cool, and we appreciated the fact that it’s designed for both solitary and couples play. It is a lightweight, hands-free, wireless electric masturbator using a patented Fleshlight™ Superskin™ sleeve, which is already a terrific selling point. This device can also be enjoyed with Oculus Rift to create interactive virtual porn using a live video feed from your partner (if they have a Kiiroo Onyx or Pearl as well) or with downloadable content or webcam pornstars. It has multiple masturbation modes, it operates quietly (unless on high speed mode) and it can stimulate long distance relationships when used as intended. Some people think it was kind of bulky, but then again it’s damn near unrecognizable and therefore easy to hide.
We are huge fans of a terrific blowjob, so we were all excited to review the AutoBlow 2 device. This robotic “mouth” features dual textured rings that glide up and down the shaft of the penis without manual interaction. The internal sleeves, which are textures as well, can be interchanged and customized to suit your delicate dick’s delight. Furthermore, this thing never needs batteries and it’s surprisingly durable, especially considering how much we beat it up. Coming in as one of the mid-range priced toys on this list, the AutoBlow 2 is a reproduction of the original AutoBlow which had the world’s men packing their girlfriend’s bags and placing them by the door.
The Fleshlight Turbo Thrust and Ignition certainly feel like what they’re designed to feel like: completely customized blowjobs without all the gagging, scraping, and complaining. We read how some people have negative things to say about the weight and bulkiness of the full-size Fleshlights, but in our experience, that weight distribution helps us get firm, strong strokes without breaking anything – our dicks included. There’s nothing worse than bending your rock-hard cock in half because you got overzealous with a shoddy sex toy. These bastards are solid, and we like that.
They call this thing the Stamina Training Unit because it is so intense that it practically forces you to cum. After a while, the interchangeable SuperSkin sleeves will tickle and tease your dick into the pros. Made proudly in the United States, the Fleshlight brand is consistently known for its pure, unadulterated product quality and durability. It is not a hands-free model or even made for couples’ play per say, but it is a solid piece of sexy craftsmanship, complete with a realistic looking orifice on the top of the case (which is designed to look like an everyday flashlight, hence the name).
This male stroker is designed to pump up the manual hand job and make it feel like actual sex. Just about everything on the market promises the same effect, and the Blewit Pleasure + Performance toy seems to be no different other than the fact that it’s designed to help men with erectile dysfunction, stamina training, and performance enhancement. The makers even suggest using it before having sex, but we think if a toy is worth its salt then the man should have nothing left to give after using it. At any rate, the Blewit Pleasure + Performance provides two tightness attachments and two manually controlled suction settings, but that’s about as high-tech as it gets.
The Max has a vibrating sequence and a patent-pending air pump design that, when used in tandem, oscillate and undulate along the shaft of the penis to create a realistic blowjob-like sensation – complete with an air vent for customized suction control. Not bad for a sex toy that’s small enough to fit into the bedside drawer, but what do we know?
Furthermore, the battery is rechargeable and the whole contraption is Bluetooth compatible. So why would you need a Bluetooth-ready sex toy? Because, the Max lets you play with your mate remotely which makes long distance relationships a lot more exciting. Your mate must have the same device though (Max or Nora), so that could put a damper on things if it’s not in the budget, but that’s the case with every single comparable toy out there.
When our dicks need a break, we like to reach for a good prostate massager to mix things up a bit. We tried the Lelo Hugo and, well, we like the fact that it comes with a SenseMotion remote that automatically responds to body movement. It can be worn discretely or during intercourse by any man who appreciates his asshole being tickled. We say don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Regardless of your experience level, the Lelo Hugo is designed to offer p-spot pleasure using its half a dozen vibe modes that are powered by a USB rechargeable input. Squirt on some water-based lube though, or else you may feel an uncomfortable tug during your full 120 minutes of play time.
What didn’t surprise us was how good the Lelo Loki felt in our bums. With 4 inches to insert and a girth of 4.5 inches, there was no stone left unturned. After we slathered on some good lube and got over the initial coldness of the material, things started to get hot and heavy fast. The silicone overlay is super smooth, the rotations circled around in our anus like an enthusiastic fingering from high school, and the vibrations jingled our bells until the cows came home.
The VStroker is designed to be used in conjunction with your favorite Fleshlight masturbator. It is an attachable/detachable accessory that adds a massive flair to your fiesta without messing up your rhythm. What makes it so amazing is the fact it not only allows you to virtual fuck your favorite pussies but it can also be used for many other purposes like playing stamina training games. Leave guitar hero for kids, start playing Vstroker Hero and rank #1 in the world! It is an ideal combination with the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit or Fleshlight Girls lineup.
The TENGA Flip Hole is what we lovingly describe as the sexiest little waffle maker for a dick the world has ever seen. The popular TENGA brand is always coming out with naughty surprises(remember TENGA Eggs?), and the Flip Hole is right on par. No, it doesn’t turn your cock into breakfast; it simply strokes the shaft (with your help) until you’re both good and ready for the day. Using four different models with their own unique internal textures (red, white, silver, and black), this toy features pressure pads on the side of the device to help users further customize their orgasmic experiences. While it is not easily camouflaged and somewhat difficult to clean, the sensations are intense and the outcome is explosive.
The Cobra Libre II is, by far, the best corona stimulation machine we’ve used in a long time. We think adding a vibrating cock ring to the mix would make this one hell of a ride, if it isn’t already enough for you the way it is. Rating this mad masturbatory machine was kind of tricky though, mostly because we hadn’t witnessed anything like this before. But, the more we went back over our notes the more we realized that the Cobra Libre II deserves every bit of the rating we’re giving it. On a scale of 1 to 10, this thing gets a solid 9.5 every time.
CyberSkin Twerking Butt Deluxe is, hands down, the coolest thing to come out of the tech world since the Atari back in 1975. As far as sex toys are concerned, we can’t even think of anything remotely close to this, so there is no comparison.
Although it doesn’t quite twerk like Miley, we’re not sure we would want it to. Its automatic motions create the perfect effects that, quite frankly, look and feel quite a bit more appealing. With the VR capability and the fact that it can dance to music, you’re only limited by your perverse imagination.
This sex toy is not like anything we’ve ever seen. It is exactly like the standard male masturbator from Fleshlight – skin-like material, textured inner sleeve, ergonomic design – but the difference is that it’s fashioned to look like the vag of a sexy alien lady. Fleshlight introduced the entire Freaks lineup just recently, with models designed after zombies and Dracula too. There’s even an Alien Vs. Predator kit for your pleasure.
Ok guys, so the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly sex toy is a great alternative to the Pornhub’s Cyberskin Twerking Butt, only you won’t get all the same high-end features. What you will get is a life-sized pussy and ass sculpture that weighs a sturdy 7kg so you can, as the name suggests, fuck it silly. Using the brand’s patented FantaFlesh material, the dual canals don’t heat up or vibrate but they are lined with sensation-enhancing ribbing. Things feel best when used with a good water-based lube, so thank the makers; you get free samples of lubricant and toy cleaner in the box.
For those interested in having a tailored self-sex experience with a Fleshlight brand masturbator, we highly suggest checking out the Fleshlight Girls lineup.We got to choose which one of the famous Fleshlight Girls we wanted to bang, and then we ordered the materials to make that happen. Our tip: pick out your favorite porn star from the Fleshlight Girls selection and hook yourself up with the Fleshlight Vibro or Vstroker to have the kind of experience you only have in your dreams.
It goes like this: Fleshlight Girls have been kind enough to mold their pretty pussies for your pleasure. The makers of Fleshlight then use those molds to fashion unique sleeves out of their patented SuperSkin material using the popular Lotus texture, and each one works in tandem with every one of their products. The sleeves are designed to be an exact replica of the porn star’s vagina, which makes masturbating more of a hobby and less of a closed-doored pastime.
The Fleshjack got its name because of the realistic-feeling flesh-like sleeve that runs along the inside of the casing. This fleshy material is fully housed inside the device, which is designed to resemble a typical household flashlight. Interactive Lifeforms recently released the Fleshjack as part of its introductory brand which is aimed to sexually entice and fulfill the gay male community. We happen to think the Fleshjack does an amazing job at that.
While The JES Extender is not exactly a sex toy it can definitely enhance your satisfaction in all kinds of sexual games. It has been around for quite some time – about two decades to be exact. Over the last 20 years, it has become one of the most trusted penis enlargement tools in the industry. The JES Extender is reportedly reliable and efficient.
The JES Extender is a state-of-the-art traction penis enlargement device that claims it can enhance the size of the penis in a relatively short time. In fact, the manufacturers open admit that their contraption can increase the size and thickness of any penis by as much as 20-30%. So why isn’t every man in the world using one of these?
So, there you have it, folks. We understand that there are literally thousands of different male sex toys on today’s market, but these are the ones we think you would enjoy the most. While every man’s experience will be different, the toys featured here offer an array of satisfying sexual sensations that are customizable to your dick’s discernment. Be sure to read our exclusive reviews on each of the products listed above for more information on the models you like the most.