We’ve got some picky dicks, and we have subjected our junk to just about everything under the sun. In other words, we know a good sex toy when we see it – or feel it, rather. We also know how difficult it can be to find a good fake vagina that completely empties your balls, and it doesn’t help that some of them are crazy expensive.
In any event, someone needs to use and review the most popular sex toys before riots break out among men with painfully swollen crotches. Horny men need help – a carnal hero of sorts. Have no fear, we’ll take it from here. There’s no need to thank us. The pleasure is all ours (seriously).
Our Top 10 Toys For Men 2016
Listed below are our top ten toys for men currently on the market. We have done our best to be as thorough and objective as possible, given the fact that we went balls deep in all of them and eventually discovered our own favorites. Here is what we think you should check out:
Fleshlight/ Kiiroo Onyx
We thought that Kiiroo Onyx was cool, and we appreciated the fact that it’s designed for both solitary and couples play. It is a lightweight, hands-free, wireless electric masturbator using a patented Fleshlight™ Superskin™ sleeve, which is already a terrific selling point. This device can also be enjoyed with Oculus Rift to create interactive virtual porn using a live video feed from your partner (if they have a Kiiroo Onyx or Pearl as well) or with downloadable content or webcam pornstars. It has multiple masturbation modes, it operates quietly (unless on high speed mode) and it can stimulate long distance relationships when used as intended. Some people think it was kind of bulky, but then again it’s damn near unrecognizable and therefore easy to hide.
The AutoBlow 2
We are huge fans of a terrific blowjob, so we were all excited to review the AutoBlow 2 device. This robotic “mouth” features dual textured rings that glide up and down the shaft of the penis without manual interaction. The internal sleeves, which are textures as well, can be interchanged and customized to suit your delicate dick’s delight. Furthermore, this thing never needs batteries and it’s surprisingly durable, especially considering how much we beat it up. Coming in as one of the mid-range priced toys on this list, the AutoBlow 2 is a reproduction of the original AutoBlow which had the world’s men packing their girlfriend’s bags and placing them by the door.
They call this thing the Stamina Training Unit because it is so intense that it practically forces you to cum. After a while, the interchangeable SuperSkin sleeves will tickle and tease your dick into the pros. Made proudly in the United States, the Fleshlight brand is consistently known for its pure, unadulterated product quality and durability. It is not a hands-free model or even made for couples’ play per say, but it is a solid piece of sexy craftsmanship, complete with a realistic looking orifice on the top of the case (which is designed to look like an everyday flashlight, hence the name).
When our dicks need a break, we like to reach for a good prostate massager to mix things up a bit. We tried the Lelo Hugo and, well, we like the fact that it comes with a SenseMotion remote that automatically responds to body movement. It can be worn discretely or during intercourse by any man who appreciates his asshole being tickled. We say don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Regardless of your experience level, the Lelo Hugo is designed to offer p-spot pleasure using its half a dozen vibe modes that are powered by a USB rechargeable input. Squirt on some water-based lube though, or else you may feel an uncomfortable tug during your full 120 minutes of play time.
We can’t lie and say we weren’t immediately impressed by the latest and greatest from Pornhub. The Cyberskin Twerking Butt is designed to give users the most realistic sex experience possible, complete with a weighted Cyberskin bodice and self-heating dual canals. It can be hooked up to your Bluetooth and will then twerk to the sound of your favorite music or you can attach it to the included VR (or Oculus Rift) for a fully interactive rendezvous. Pornhub’s Butt also features various vibration and massage settings for added pleasure. While this toy is the first of its kind and therefore automatically remarkable, it is the most expensive fake pussy on this list.
The Fleshlight Ice is a voyeur’s dream. We truly enjoyed watching our throbbing package, which just so happened to look a little bigger thanks to the patented see-through SuperSkin material, as it thrusted in and out of the tight little hole. Since we are visual fellas, like most guys, being able to see our own dicks take a beating was perhaps the best part – well, besides the way it felt to be inside that thing.Not only does it feature the same petite flaps and folds as an actual vagina, but it also has those feel-good ridges on the inside that gave us the “Real Deal Holyfield” sensation we were after. Although the outer casing is completely transparent, nothing was spared in terms of durability, realness, and quality.
Nexus Revo Stealth
We tried to the original Nexus Revo Intense when it first came out and it was okay, but the new Nexus Revo Stealth is a step up for sure. The new and improved model features a 2-speed rotating prostate massager that also vibrates strongly right on the P-spot using six different power modes. The Revo Stealth also comes with a remote control for couples’ play, with a quiet, rechargeable motor that has an impressive 15-meter range to enhance your voyeuristic fantasies. It is comprised of smooth, silky silicone but lube is still recommended.
The VStroker is designed to be used in conjunction with your favorite Fleshlight masturbator. It is an attachable/detachable accessory that adds a massive flair to your fiesta without messing up your rhythm. What makes it so amazing is the fact it not only allows you to virtual fuck your favorite pussies but it can also be used for many other purposes like playing stamina training games. Leave guitar hero for kids, start playing Vstroker Hero and rank #1 in the world! It is an ideal combination with the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit or Fleshlight Girls lineup.
TENGA Flip Hole
The TENGA Flip Hole is what we lovingly describe as the sexiest little waffle maker for a dick the world has ever seen. The popular TENGA brand is always coming out with naughty surprises, and the Flip Hole is right on par. No, it doesn’t turn your cock into breakfast; it simply strokes the shaft (with your help) until you’re both good and ready for the day. Using four different models with their own unique internal textures (red, white, silver, and black), this toy features pressure pads on the side of the device to help users further customize their orgasmic experiences. While it is not easily camouflaged and somewhat difficult to clean, the sensations are intense and the outcome is explosive.
Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly
Ok guys, so the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly sex toy is a great alternative to the Pornhub’s Cyberskin Twerking Butt, only you won’t get all the same high-end features. What you will get is a life-sized pussy and ass sculpture that weighs a sturdy 20lbs so you can, as the name suggests, fuck it silly. Using the brand’s patented FantaFlesh material, the dual canals don’t heat up or vibrate but they are lined with sensation-enhancing ribbing. Things feel best when used with a good water-based lube, so thank the makers; you get free samples of lubricant and toy cleaner in the box.
While The JES Extender is not exactly a sex toy it can definitely enhance your satisfaction in all kinds of sexual games. It has been around for quite some time – about two decades to be exact. Over the last 20 years, it has become one of the most trusted penis enlargement tools in the industry. The JES Extender is reportedly reliable and efficient.
The JES Extender is a state-of-the-art traction penis enlargement device that claims it can enhance the size of the penis in a relatively short time. In fact, the manufacturers open admit that their contraption can increase the size and thickness of any penis by as much as 20-30%. So why isn’t every man in the world using one of these?
For those interested in having a tailored self-sex experience with a Fleshlight brand masturbator, we highly suggest checking out the Fleshlight Girls lineup.We got to choose which one of the famous Fleshlight Girls we wanted to bang, and then we ordered the materials to make that happen. Our tip: pick out your favorite porn star from the Fleshlight Girls selection and hook yourself up with the Fleshlight Vibro or Vstroker to have the kind of experience you only have in your dreams.
It goes like this: Fleshlight Girls have been kind enough to mold their pretty pussies for your pleasure. The makers of Fleshlight then use those molds to fashion unique sleeves out of their patented SuperSkin material using the popular Lotus texture, and each one works in tandem with every one of their products. The sleeves are designed to be an exact replica of the porn star’s vagina, which makes masturbating more of a hobby and less of a closed-doored pastime.
The Fleshjack got its name because of the realistic-feeling flesh-like sleeve that runs along the inside of the casing. This fleshy material is fully housed inside the device, which is designed to resemble a typical household flashlight. Interactive Lifeforms recently released the Fleshjack as part of its introductory brand which is aimed to sexually entice and fulfill the gay male community. We happen to think the Fleshjack does an amazing job at that.
So, there you have it, folks. We understand that there are literally thousands of different male sex toys on today’s market, but these are the ones we think you would enjoy the most. While every man’s experience will be different, the toys featured here offer an array of satisfying sexual sensations that are customizable to your dick’s discernment. Be sure to read our exclusive reviews on each of the products listed above for more information on the models you like the most.