Since the beginning of time, men have not only been highly competitive with one another but they’ve also been generally interested in continual self-improvement. Perhaps due to the way they’re wired, or maybe caused by the pressures of modern society, most guys want to enhance at least one part of their body. The most commonly “customized” appendage: the penis.
As a result, innovative businessmen and women from all over the world started leaping onto the male enhancement pill bandwagon for a chance to strike it rich. And while many of them have been insanely successful at that, the victims always end up being us desperate dudes who simply want better sex.
Finding the best male enhancement pills is no walk in the park. On any given day, you can do a quick search on the internet to find thousands of options. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, that can be extremely daunting. Sifting through hundreds of search results while clinging to a dream is nobody’s idea of a good time.
What the F$#k Is a Male Enhancement Pill?
Like me when I first stepped off the train at the male enhancement pill station, you probably have no clue what the hell is going on. I have a ton of questions, like: What’s in these things? How long am I supposed to take them? Will I be forced to swallow pills for the rest of my life to get laid? My brothers in arms, I understand. The struggle is real.
To make this a little less painful, it’s important to first know what a male enhancement pill is (and isn’t). I don’t work for Merriam-Webster or anything, but here is my concise definition:
A male enhancement pill is an ingestible tablet or capsule containing a wide variety of proven and non-proven ingredients that are designed, derived or combined to provide positive effects on the male reproductive system.
Yeah, that sounds about right. Either way, male enhancement pills are commonly used by men who want to improve something about their dick – the look, its performance, you name it. And although not all pills on the market are as effective as we’d all like them to be, there are some pretty amazing products out there. Best of all, the top-notch options are ideal for dudes of all ages.
While every option is unique in its ingredients, effectiveness and potential side effects, most male enhancement pills claim to do one or more of the following things:
- Increase blood flow to the penis
- Improve the quality and longevity of an erection
- Increase sexual stamina and endurance
Some even claim to provide nutritional support for male sexual health, although I wouldn’t suggest using any of them as a meal replacement or supplement. Regardless of your needs or intentions, there’s likely a male enhancement pill out there for a guy like you because there was one for a guy like me and I’m a strange son of a bitch.
Common Side Effects of Male Enhancement Pills
Strange or not, high-quality male enhancement pills will produce a noticeable change in your body (even if it’s not in your pants). My advice: pay extra close attention to the ingredients listed on the label and be sure you know how each one affects you. I’m not saying the stuff is harmful, I’m just saying it’s usually quite potent and some guys have an allergic reaction.
Even those who don’t have sensitivities and allergies can experience a few not-so-pleasant reactions to the ingredients in many male enhancement pills. The reason is simple too, if not difficult to swallow. Apparently, every one of us is unique just like our mamas told us we were. As it turns out, our parents were right: we’re all just a bunch of special bastards who daydream about sex too much.
Common male enhancement pill side effects to be on the lookout for are:
- Rapid heart rate
- Redness of the skin, especially on your face or around your crotch
- Itchiness or tingling sensations (especially in your extremities)
- Long-lasting erections (sometimes painfully)
I know, those side effects seem a bit severe for a pill that’s made to improve your boner and support your sex drive. However, it’s important to understand how this shit works before you get your panties in a wad. Male enhancement pills MUST stimulate the circulatory system to be effective, meaning you’ll probably feel the effects in one way or another. It all comes down to how much of a pansy you are I suppose (I’m kidding).
As such, you should probably talk to your doctor before taking any sort of male enhancement pill. That goes for those high-end products as well, if not more. The higher quality the pill, the more potent its ingredients are likely to be. Seek professional help, you crazy kids.
Male Enhancement Pills Buying Guide
Once the hard part is completed, you’ll then need to know how to shop. I don’t recommend going about this all willy-nilly. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen to my wise words.
Buying male enhancement pills is different than buying dietary supplements, meal replacement products and even medicines. I don’t need to tell you how sensitive your cock and balls are, do I? Well, aside from that, there are tons of other things that make male enhancement pills one-of-a-kind and thus deserving of careful consideration.
Things you need to think about when shopping are as follows:
- THE INGREDIENTS
Obviously, the substances found within each pill are extremely important. In fact, your experience with any male enhancement product depends on what it’s made of. While many pill bottles feature descriptive labels, some do not. In many cases, customers have to go to the manufacturer’s website to find out what their pills have in them, and sometimes that information is even available online.
TIP: A majority of male enhancement pills are without FDA approval and are thus viewed as ineffective, dangerous or both. Fact of the matter is: official endorsements are always indicative of product quality; ingredients are far more telling.
- THE MANUFACTURER
Ladies and gentlemen, manufacturers matter more than you might think. Unfortunately, there are too many of them to name right now and that makes shopping a pain in the ass. On the bright side, however, there are a few worth mentioning (but we’ll get to that in another article).
The manufacturer (or brand) making your male enhancement pills is important. Brand names are tied to the quality of the product and the cleanliness of the facility for a good reason. So, although some no-name suppliers do exist and might actually offer high-end products at reasonable prices, it’s probably best to get your stash from a manufacturer with a well-known reputation.
- THE PACKAGING
They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, and that’s true. However, you can judge a male enhancement pill by its packaging if you’re wise. Truly safe and effective products will feature a few things that low-end pills do not:
- Information about the ingredients
- Manufacturer contact information
Don’t be fooled though. Shitty products have informative and attractive labels too. Look with your mind, not your eye. Search for things like safety caps and tamper-proof containers. If all else fails, read some customer reviews to find out how accurate the information on the packaging really is.
- THE PROMISE
The brings me to my next point: the promise. What does the product claim to achieve? Does it sound like something you need? Are the promises reasonable? Will you have to sacrifice anything to see results? Many male enhancement pills require a complementary diet and exercise regimen, or even a masturbation routine in some cases. Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?
Since good male enhancement pills aren’t cheap, it’s important to prepare yourself for what lies ahead. Improving the look and functionality of your most precious member is no cake walk. The product make may make lofty promises, but most of it is up to you. Make the most of your money this way:
- Follow the directions listed on the label.
- Take your pills habitually and on time.
- Engage in regular exercise.
- Eat a healthy diet.
- Have sex or masturbate often to monitor your progress.
At the end of the day, no product promise will define your unique experience with a male enhancement pill. Only you know how your body works; only you can determine the if a product is the right one.
- THE PRICE
Speaking of male enhancement pills being expensive, most options are a little on the costly side to be honest. That’s why finding the right one is so crucial. Nobody likes wasting their money or their time, and they damn sure don’t want to be disappointed by their dicks in the meantime.
TIP: Price is not always an indicator of quality. I’ve paid tons of money for a shitty product and I’ve gotten amazing shit for dirt cheap. It’s all about where you buy.
The Cheers and Jeers
Regardless of how frugal of a shopper you are, there’s one thing you must always remember: Male enhancement pills aren’t for everybody. I had a friend once who claimed his pills didn’t even work, but another friend of mine used the same product and damn near had a heart attack. What I’m trying to say is, you can’t approach this shit with a one-size-fits-all attitude.
There are several pros and cons to consider when determining whether male enhancement pills are for you (that is, if you haven’t already). Check these out:
- The Man, the Myth, the Legend – With the best male enhancement pills you can transform your male muscle from a mere mortal into a mighty and meaty machine. In other words, it improves your dick.
- Long, Strong, Down to Get the Friction On – Good male enhancement pills do more than just strengthen or harden your cock. They also help with stamina and endurance as well. Remember that.
- Me Love You Long Time, Or Not – Well chosen pills can provide temporary, semi-permanent or permanent results depending on how you use them and what they’re designed for.
- The Secret Keepers – Unlike penis pumps and other bulky contraptions, male enhancement pills are super discreet and can be used without anybody knowing about it.
- Dick-saster Free – For the most part, well-made male enhancement pills are a safe and effective option for a majority of men.
- (NOT ALWAYS) Like the Discovery Channel – Certain penis enhancement pills are made with not-so-natural ingredients and are thus more potent and/or dangerous than others. Be careful out there, guys.
- Shop ‘til You Drop – You’ll never be off the hook when you use pills to improve your sexual performance because your supply will eventually run out. Have fun paying for all that, Daddy Warbucks.
- Patience Is a Virtue – Not all penis enhancement pills produce immediate effects. Be prepared to wait if you use certain products.
- Medical Mishaps – Because of the potency of the ingredients in some MHPs, some dudes may not be able to take them. Especially those who are on prescription medications, it’s important to talk to a doctor to prevent any potential chemical reactions.
The Final Verdict
While male enhancement pills may not be the answer for every swinging dick on the planet, they are a viable alternative to bulky penis pumps and training masturbators that are both difficult to travel with and impossible to explain. Discreet and effective, if not always safe and affordable, penis improvement pills are certainly a game changer.
The key to having a positive experience with male enhancement pills is to find the best one(s) and go from there. Once they’re in your hand, don’t be an idiot. Follow the instructions, eat like you’ve got some sense and stay as active as humanly possible. Pills are cool but remember: A healthy penis is a happy one; and a happy penis makes for an even happier man.