It’s not every day that we get to test out something that’s brand new to the market. This time, however, we lucked out and received the Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo – a conglomeration of two impressive brand names that we’ve grown fond of. We aren’t kidding when we say that this revolutionary union of the top sex toy manufacturers got us a little excited before we ever opened the box, which was, by the way, a lot bigger than we expected.
The reason for the enormous packaging was clear once we tore into it. The Launch is large and in charge, but that’s not what makes it a hot seller. Apparently, this thing has a mind of its own and can rock your socks off without any help from you or a live partner, which might explain why the device is the size of a fat Chihuahua. Nevertheless, it got our dogs barking, that’s for sure.
What Is the Fleshlight Launch ?
This toy, we assume, was designed for lazy, sexual gluttons who want to fuck something without expending any unnecessary energy. We love those people. If it weren’t for you guys, the world wouldn’t have a need for a toy like this – one that can offer a fully automated blowjob by connecting to online databases containing VR and POV porn content. No joke, the Fleshlight Launch is the next big thing – a real-life way for mankind to go where no man has gone before: to the world of real-time hands-free fucking!
The online content connected to this device is full of entertaining videos, games, and webcam sessions for your viewing pleasure. Some users complain that connecting the toy to the respective websites via Bluetooth isn’t as easy as it’s marketed to be, but we think a well-trained monkey could probably pull it off. Luckily, its connectivity to the various FeelMe.com content pages is not even close to the coolest part.
FLESHLIGHT LAUNCH PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
The Main Features
There are a lot of impressive and/or hi-tech features on the new Launch. First of all, it’s completely customizable as far as which Fleshlight you choose to lock inside the main compartment (it’s not compatible with all of them). The Launch is also compatible with the Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl, so put that in your pipe and smoke it. What we’re trying to tell you is this: it’s possible to buy a Fleshlight that’s modeled after your favorite porn star’s pussy and then sync up your Launch device with that porn star’s exclusive online content. That’s about as close as any of us will get to actually fucking women who would never give us the time of day.
If all that isn’t enough to ring your bell, you can also use this sexy son of bitch without an internet connection. So, no worries if you spent all your cable bill money on the toy.(Click here to see the up to date price).
Because the Launch device features 2 different modes (Manual and Interactive), users can fuck like champion voyeurs or search for inspiration in the recesses of their own perverted minds while enjoying the materials and textures they favor.
The Launch, which measures approximately 12.75 inches in total length, also features one-touch slide controls on the sides, designed to help users make quick changes to the length and speed dynamics of the toy’s automatic stroke. Its features reminded us of that convection oven that used to get sold on those corny late-night infomercials: “Set it and forget it!” With the hi-tech bells and whistles of this bad boy, you can literally place it on your cock and have it juice your balls dry without ever putting down the TV remote. Now that’s what we call lip service.
What Comes in the Box?
The box, which would make quite an impression wrapped up as a gift, was relatively plain and commercial looking. However, giving the Launch as a present might send the message, “Go fuck yourself,” or “I never want to touch you again,” due to the fact that the device is exclusively designed to offer automatic, hands-free play. We’ll let you be the judge; but in the meantime, pick up some toy cleaner and lube because you only get the following items in the box:
- The Fleshlight Launch (of course)
- A universal USB charging cable
- An authenticity card used to activate the 1-year warranty
- A setup manual
- An instruction manual
We found that the device also comes with regular software updates, but there’s no indication of that in the package. Obviously, this magic is done remotely and that’s just another reason we dig the shit out of this thing.
What It Feels Like
Let’s be short and sweet here because, let’s face it, there’s absolutely no way to describe the best orgasm you ever had. For us, the only way to tell you what it felt like to use the Launch is to compare it to something familiar. However, the Launch didn’t feel like anything we’ve experienced before. Even the mind-numbing blowjobs we receive from our willing partners are fraught with gagging, choking, scraping, complaining, and commitment. Fucking the Launch was like cumming in the least selfish whore we’ve ever met – a gracious and giving hooker with the stamina of a race horse and a creamy, marshmallow coated pussy. That’s the best we got.
ROCKET LAUNCH ORGASMS IN COMBO WITH:
Our Cheers and Jeers
Although we are self-proclaimed fans of both the Fleshlight and Kiiroo brands, we can still find fault in just about everything we test. The Launch was no different, unfortunately, but we assume the faults are due to the device being the first of its kind. We all need to start somewhere, and the Launch is already far ahead of its time.
- Enjoy the Silence – It is very silent if you do not use it in the fastest mode. People behind your bedroom’s door will not be able to figure out what are you up to.
- Safe and Sound – It is comprised of body-safe materials containing no latex or phthalates.
- Mr. Popular – The device is fully compatible with all standard sized Fleshlight toys, nearly all modern VR goggles, and the entire FeelMe.com website. Talk about playing well with others.
- Get High on Tech – The wireless Bluetooth connectivity offers Fuck Fest freedoms that we can’t even begin to describe.
- Less Is More – It may look enormous, but the Launch is surprisingly lightweight and compact.
- Party All Night Long – The battery is fully rechargeable and doesn’t take too long in most cases.
- Lean, Mean, and Clean – The ergonomically designed Launch casing is beyond easy to clean, even if you don’t have any FleshWash or renewal powder (which we highly recommend).
- Protected Sex – It comes with a limited 1-year warranty, if you activate it on time.
- Go, Go, Gadget Blowjob – The teledildonic connectivity allows you to play with other horny bastards in real-time like you’re a genie or some shit.
- Speed Racer – It can stroke your cock up to 180 times per minute on the highest setting. Show us one real person who can do that.
- Stop the Press – Nobody will be talking about your impending addiction to the Launch because all your dirty online secrets are protected with passwords and website encryption.
- Hold It Now – If things get too out of control, simply press the power button once for a quick stop to catch your breath.
- Reece’s Pieces – You’ll have to piece together the ideal fuck toy with your favorite standard size(!) Fleshlight masturbator which is not included (!)
- Out of Hiding – It is nearly impossible to hide the Launch unless you have some serious closet space designated just for that purpose. There is also no storage bag or box included.
- Time is of the Essence – When you’re ready to go, the last thing you want to deal with is the 6 to 9-hour initial charging time. Luckily, the charge time shortens considerably after the first use.
- Drops of Trouble – Keep the Launch far away from all moisture, as it is not waterproof in the slightest.
- Feel the Heat – After it has been on for a while, the Launch is somewhat hot to touch. You have been warned.
- Wait It Out – There is a very slight delay in the controls, so now is the time to learn some patience.
- Necessary Evil – Due to the hi-tech nature of the Launch it has to be updated regularly, which can sometimes interrupt the heat of a good time. We would know.
- Technical Foul – A time or two we experienced the dreaded red light on the LED indicator for the Bluetooth, which basically meant we had to restart the device and try again.
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Fortunately, technical issues didn’t get in the way of our pants party too much, so we really can’t complain about the overall performance of the new Launch. Still, we can’t wait for the brand duo to come out with the new and improved version because, like you, we are shameless gluttons. We’re sorry we’re not sorry for that.
The Final Verdict
If we had to rate the new Fleshlight Launch powered by Kiiroo, then we’d give it a 9.5. We promise you that it will be the best buy you have ever made and you will remember the day we have changed your life forever. No need to thank us. 🙂
As the first of its kind, it is the latest and greatest in interactive porn, and certainly as the predecessor for a new wave of fuck toys, we can’t give it less than the highest marks. It may have a few flaws, but what item in the tech world does not? We think the problems lie in the inherent faults of technology and not in the toy itself. We’re just saying: It’s a good thing we’re not hoarders or else we would keep them all for ourselves.You can get more information or buy the new Fleshlight Launch at their official website.