Don’t feel too bad if you haven’t yet heard about Fleshlight. Although the maker is an incredibly popular sex toy brand that has sold millions of units throughout the world, not everyone is as big of a freak as I am. Having tried nearly every product in their inventory, I’m more than well-versed about this kind of thing.
Understanding the basics of one of the world’s best and brightest can make you a savant in the sack. In fact, Fleshlights are so popular that the brand’s name is often used to describe any type of handheld masturbator which features a similar shape or design. Don’t let imitators fool you though. There is only one Fleshlight and the entire lineup is rather unique.
Getting your hands on one of those bad boys is easier than you think, but you’ll still need to know what to do with it once you have one. Unless you possess a degree in physics, engineering, or sexual healing, a crash course on the brand’s most coveted toys is a must. And while the overall design of the Fleshlight is made to seem relatively simple, the complexities of these things can be mind-numbing to those who haven’t done their homework. So, I’m about to school you on this whole Fleshlight phenomenon.
What in the Hell Is a Fleshlight?
Put simply, a Fleshlight is a manual self-sexing machine with a variety of fuckworthy features designed for men and women (but mostly for men). Made to have the appearance of a standard heavy-duty flashlight, these tantalizing toys are moderately discreet and massively enjoyable to the 20 million people who have tried them.
The original Fleshlight was invented by an orgasm-crazed cop with an overactive imagination, plenty of time on his hands, and enough capital to launch one of today’s best-known sex toy brands. Decades later, his innovation has spawned a new era of self-gratification. Raising the bar, these toys are in a league of their own. Equipped with high-quality materials, durable manufacturing, and a variety of convenient features, the brand has inspired the industry in more ways than one.
In fact, the Fleshlight brand was the first to begin making molds of famous porn star pussies and assholes for their freakish followers. Using their patented SuperSkin material, said molds were fashioned by the luckiest experts on the planet to resemble the no-no zones of some of the world’s most notable on-screen babes, including Tera Patrick, Stoya, Misty Stone, Alexis Texas, and Lisa Ann just to name a few.
Most notable is the sheer variety offered by the Fleshlight brand. Not just a maker of handheld fuck sticks, these people have a little something for just about everybody. With manual and automatic units, full-size items and compact cock sloppers, conventional masturbator designs and inventive alternatives, it’s no wonder why this brand has been elevated to the King of the Ring. There’s even a little something in their inventory for the ladies, but I’ll get to that later.
Why Are These Fleshlight Toys So Popular?
Fleshlights became popular quite quickly – almost as soon as they were released to the market, and probably because pervs like you and me were starved to death for something worth fucking. During a dark time when our horny homies were screwing tube socks and grapefruits, along came an invention that changed the game. As such, this revolutionary brand was grandfathered in to the wonderful world of sex toys.
Since then, they have gone above and beyond the market’s initial expectations. Competing against shit that was almost embarrassingly shoddy, it didn’t take much for Fleshlight to become crowned as the cream of the crop. And with all their glory, you’d think their toys were insanely expensive or hard to come by. Instead, this company priced their products in a such a way that almost anyone can own one, and they can be easily ordered online and shipped discreetly to your house in an unmarked box.
What Are the Main Features of the Standard Fleshlight?
As mentioned, the main feature of the standard Fleshlight is its outwardly appearance which makes it look so inconspicuous. Secondarily, the brand’s patented SuperSkin material is surprisingly lifelike and surrounds the orifice you choose, including options like a mouth, a pussy, an anus, and/or a non-anatomical opening. Each unit features its own unique sleeve texture that has been carefully designed with the wants and needs of the average man’s penis in mind.
The typical Fleshlight unit features an ergonomic shape that makes it easy to hold, and a weight distribution that’s not too taxing on the forearm as long as you’re not a weakling. Luckily, there are also a few automatic toys in the brand’s inventory for folks who prefer to be lazy or who have mobility problems. Most units don’t have a lot of bells and whistles, but what they’re lacking in operation settings they tend to make up for in effectiveness and customizability.
How Are They Customizable?
The Fleshlight brand is best known for more than its unique shape and incredible skin-like material. Customers are privy to uncountable variances in the unit’s size, sleeve texture, and orifices. While each device has its own special sleeve that comes standard with the unit, each one is interchangeable with the others in stock (albeit sold separately, of course). Moreover, the brand has taken things a step further by offering what they call the “Freaks” lineup – a curious collection that features orifices which look like zombies, werewolves, and aliens.
Fleshlight has done a lot of delving into the minds of the most perverted among us. Their sex toy accessory collection is impressive to say the least, with competitive brands trying extra hard to keep up. With items in their inventory including sleeve warmers and shower mounts, the brand has made it highly possible to get a good fucking no matter what it takes. In fact, there are even some open-ended and see-through models in their inventory, each one made specifically to appease the sexual appetites of any dude.
Is a Fleshlight Worth the Money?
Although most Fleshlight units are relatively inexpensive, customers don’t seem to give a damn about that sort of thing if the product is a piece of shit. However, Fleshlight hasn’t become a famous name in the sex toy industry because they sell junk. The average unit is priced below a hundred dollars, although some of the more technologically advanced models can cost a little more. For example, Fleshlight is the maker of the ground-breaking Launch – a fully automated and interactive cock rocket that works in tandem with almost every item in their inventory. In fact, their Launch is also compatible with the Kiiroo brand’s Onyx and Pearl.
Regardless of the complexity of the product you buy, each one comes with a limited manufacturer’s warranty and a money back guarantee if it comes to your door damaged in any way. In my experience, most Fleshlights last for years if they’re taken care of properly. And best of all, maintenance and upkeep are both rather simple, even for the sex toy newbie. Because the brand obviously does its best to churn out tough and durable products, the lack of any included storage case isn’t that big of a deal to most guys. Furthermore, storage boxes, bags, and other compartments can sometimes be purchased with the product at a relatively decent price.
How Hard to Take Care of Are They?
Speaking of upkeep, the typical Fleshlight unit is usually super easy to maintain. Most of their products require little more than a quick rinse with some warm, soapy water. However, electronic toys such as the Launch require a little more attention, naturally. Still, the brand’s designers know their products very well, and thus they sell things like toy cleaner and SuperSkin renewal powder just to make things easier on us all.
And while, as mentioned, there tend to be no viable storage containers included with the toys they sell, Fleshlight has developed an ingenious solution: make the toy look like an everyday household item. Some of the more brazen customers keep their unit sitting out on a table, with onlookers none the wiser. However, due to the fact that the brand’s conceptual design has become so well-known, it begs the question whether they will ultimately develop something new to keep their magic a secret.
In the meantime, most avid users suggest stowing the device in a dresser drawer, although there are some risks associated with doing so. Either way, the Fleshlight is rather large compared to some of the other sex toys out there, so some creativity in this regard may be needed to ensure the secrecy and integrity of the device. Fortunately, most units come standard with a free packet of water-based lube, which is certainly recommended to keep the SuperSkin intact.
Are There Any Tips or Tricks?
Taking care of and using a Fleshlight may be simple and enjoyable, but they’re made to be as such. That doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to improve the experience though. The typical customer has his (or her) own technique when using a sex toy, but an avid pervert knows how to hit the sweet spot most efficiently. And although no two people will have the same experience, the already versatile Fleshlight makes it very easy to get the exact sensation desired once you get in the groove.
As a Fleshlight fanatic myself, I’ve come to realize a few things about these degenerate dick teasers:
- The SuperSkin material takes on a much more realistic feel when the sleeve warmer is used before the party begins.
- The renewal powder isn’t necessary, but it extends the life of the material quite a bit and helps to keep it from cracking.
- Using any of the Fleshlight brand toys without proper amounts of lube can be painful, especially if the sleeve is extremely textured.
- The porn star molds work best when used in unison with the virtual reality content offered up the by brand’s online affiliates.
- Out of all the products in their inventory, the Launch capsule gives the best ride and is the most user friendly (not to mention it allows you to enjoy tons of VR content, play games, chat, and even participate in real-time sex sessions with remote partners).
- Do not let the SuperSkin material come in contact with anything porous or fuzzy unless you want to pick lint off a fake pussy for hours.
- The units tend to clean up faster and better with warm water instead of cold, and with a mild antibacterial soap.
- Refrain from using scented soaps to clean the unit or face embarrassing skin irritations or even infections the next time you fuck it.
- Allow your cleaned sleeve to dry thoroughly before returning it to the outer casing to prevent stagnant water, bacteria build-up, and unpleasant odors.
- Measure your erection or know its relative size before purchasing a unit or sleeve since they are not one-size-fits-all.
- Check out the FleshPump if you’re unhappy with your sexual stamina, your penis’s length and girth, or if you just want to improve your game during halftime.
- Be sure to register your device as soon as you get it to take advantage of the manufacturer’s warranty and the product-linked online porn content (where available).
What’s My Opinion about Fleshlight?
With all this good shit to consider, it would be foolish of me not to like what I see. The Fleshlight brand seems to have everything that the average Joe is looking for in an at-home sex toy, although we all know that there’s always one guy who will find something to complain about. As for me, I consider building my own fuck stick out of customizable parts and pieces an adventure, not to mention an investment in the perverted side of me that will probably never die. Good for people of all ages, tastes, and abilities, my opinion is that the Fleshlight brand is a leader in the industry for a lot of damn good reasons.
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.