I’m not against subjecting my dong to a whole host of sexually deviant devices and products in the name of progressive consumerism. However, I try not to waste my time on things that are obviously trash. The problem is, all the attractive packaging and clever marketing ploys make it virtually impossible to distinguish between the hunks and hunks of junk. It takes a unique combination of guts and gusto to do this for a living.
I admittedly have one of the most sensitive shlongs on the planet, which is just a cloaked way of saying I’m known to cum at the speed of light. So, my experience with delay sprays and stamina training machines is extensive to say the least. In my years of self-serving research, I’ve had the pleasure of using some of the best products on the market. In other words, I know what the fuck I’m talking about here.
Prolonging sex has been a lifelong mission of mine, but I’d rather fuck for five minutes than use a shitty product for one second. I’m sure my homies feel exactly the same way, which is why I find it necessary to tell you about my experience with Promescent – a high-end dick liquid that has me shook.
What Is Promescent Delay Spray?
Put as simply as humanly possible, Promescent is just another delay spray. By inhibiting ejaculation through the desensitization of penile nerve endings, products like this are designed to help men last longer in bed without forcing them to use potentially harmful drugs or complicated devices. As a relatively commonplace intimacy item, cum stopping sprays are usually strong and fast-acting or weak and ineffective.
As for Promescent, it’s apparently backed by science and endorsed by a handful of urologists. According to the manufacturer’s own claims, Promescent is supposed to help the average man last up to 64% longer with the very first use. This stuff is made to be a wish come true for the 80% of women who reportedly want their partner to last a tad bit longer in the sack, which is probably why it’s marketed as essential to both male and female sexual pleasure.
How Does Promescent Spray Work?
Clinically proven to work, Promescent is the industry’s leading climax control spray. But what on Earth makes it so popular, especially considering the fact that delay sprays are a dime a dozen on today’s market? Although I had a decent experience with it, I’m sure it’s not the same for every single man who uses it. Or is it?
The makers of Promescent spray promise improved love-making regardless of your physical attributes or bedroom prowess. Using data from numerous independent studies, the manufacturer concluded that there’s an “orgasm gap” between men and women – often times as long as 15 minutes. Therefore, they assumed that most men require a 15 to 20-minute boost and they designed their product accordingly. Promescent works by suspending ejaculation for an adequate enough amount of time so that ladies can actually get theirs too. Now everyone is happy and nobody is forced to fake an orgasm anymore.
All that is thanks to the product’s primary active ingredient – lidocaine. Acting as a somewhat standard topical anesthetic, Promescent also utilizes the brand’s patented TargetZone technology to take things to a whole new level. That absorption formula is no joke; it goes to work fast and it can last for up to an hour. Plus, there is little to no transfer to your partner and you can still feel all the amazing sensations of sex.
User’s Guide to Promescent Delay Spray
This stuff is supposed to be super easy to use and contained within a conveniently designed, ergonomic bottle that can be accessed at a moment’s notice. But, while the metered-dosage cap helps ensure the same amount of Promescent in each spritz, the bottle itself is tough to grip. The product itself is somewhat slippery, which doesn’t help matters at all. Furthermore, it’s a son of a bitch to wipe off even if you scrub (which I don’t suggest) because it absorbs so quickly.
My recommendation is to start out small. Use two or three sprays at first and then work your way up (or down) depending on your penis sensitivity. Keep in mind that it takes the product about 10 minutes to start working, so don’t apply more out of impatience. If you do, just know that you won’t be able to feel anything on your dick (and quite possibly your hands) for the next few hours. Stay cool by engaging in some foreplay while you wait.
Also, try to remember that Promescent spray is designed to fill the “orgasm gap,” meaning it’s made to remain effective for at least 20 minutes. In fact, the label prepares users for a minimum 30 to 60-minute marathon. Of course, product longevity is dependent upon on your dosage, but that’s just another way of saying “take it easy, cowboy.” You might not want to go hog-wild until you know how this product will affect you, especially if you have underlying health problems.
Moreover, be sure to understand the risks associated with using products like this. Guys, I can’t stress this enough: too much spray can make you lose your erection! Other possible side effects of Promescent, regardless of dosage, are listed as:
- Burning sensations
- Excessive numbness
- Skin irritation
- Redness of the skin where the product is applied
As always, stop using Promescent if it’s messing with your junk. Make sure you’re not allergic to something on the label because that shit’s not normal. If you wash your penis with soap and water but the symptoms persist for more than 10-12 hours, call a goddamn doctor because you’re dying. Just kidding. You’ll be fine, but life is gonna suck for a while.
The Cheers and Jeers
You guys have got to stop expecting things from the modern market to be perfect. It’s not ever going to happen, mostly because there’s always a douche like me who’s not satisfied with anything. Either way, at least someone is keeping these morally-bankrupt manufacturers on their toes.
Some products possess inherent flaws simply because mankind hasn’t invented anything better yet. We’re still rubbing creams and ointments on our cocks to prolong sex. We have a long way to go before we start seeing flawless products on the shelves.
With that said, here are the things I liked and didn’t like about Promescent:
- Gentlemen, Start Your Engines – This stuff works harder and faster than a muscle car on race day. Don’t even think about putting it on until you’re almost ready for action.
- Let That Soak in for a Second – The brand’s TargetZone technology helps the product absorb super-fast as well, leaving behind no slippery or sticky residue in the process.
- What’s Mine Is (not) Yours – With speed absorption, there’s minimal concern about your partner being numbed as well.
- Lip Service – All of those features make Promescent one of the only delay sprays I know of that can be used during oral sex (without making your partner drool uncontrollably).
- Protection Plan – Promescent can also be used with condoms (lubricated or otherwise). In fact, the manufacturer sells textured condoms to be used in conjunction with the spray.
- Dick Tested, Doctor Approved – I counted at least half a dozen well-known medical professionals’ testimonies on the safety and efficacy of this product. It’s actually the only delay spray sold in America with clinical data to back it up.
- Locally Owned and Operated – This stuff provides only local anesthetic, not that systemic numbing that’s often derived from pills and other products. That means no nausea, no headaches, no bullshit.
- Dynamite Comes in Small Packages – With Promescent, a little goes quite a long way. After all, it only takes 2-3 sprays per use for most guys.
- Can You Feel Me Now? – Although this product is made to gently numb the penis, you can still feel all the fun of sex while your cock prepares for take-off.
- Smells Like Teen Spirit – Yeah, if Teen Spirit smelled like dusty pennies.
- Double, Double, Toil and Trouble – It’s going to look like a pharmacy in your bedroom by the time you’re all set up – delay spray, lubrication, towels, etc. Be prepared, because Promescent is only slippery for about 2.5 seconds.
- Through My Fingertips – The bottle is damn near impossible to hold on to, especially if you have any sort of fluid or lube on your hands.
- Is That All, Folks? – Yes, it is. For the money you pay, you only get a few ounces to play.
I might have had good luck using Promescent spray during oral sex, but the manufacturer strongly discourages that and you should know about it. If the product isn’t absorbed all the way, if it gets sprayed into the eyes or swallowed, you could have a serious problem on your hands. So, just use this stuff with caution and don’t be an idiot.
The Final Verdict
Promescent delay spray lasts quite a while, generally won’t transfer to your partner, can be obtained without a prescription and is recommended by thousands of doctors. It has a low side effect profile, but it can still be misused. Too much Promescent can cause a loss of erection or effects that last longer than you want them to. Simply put: this stuff is powerful but it’s not for everybody, nor is it to be used irresponsibly. You can find more information or buy promescent delay spray at their official website.
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.