Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high-quality sex toy just as much as the next guy. Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.
But who is John James?
Well, picture a man who treats fleshlight reviews with the same level of scrutiny that some reserve for fine wines or vintage guitars. A man who has, on more than one occasion, used the phrase “ergonomic canal design” in casual conversation. A man who once faked being sick to stay home and test a new warming lube attachment.
That man is me. Hello. And welcome to my passion project.
I created this site not out of desperation (okay, maybe a little), but out of genuine curiosity and a strong belief that pleasure products for men deserve better press—and better quality control. Too many guys are blindly buying knockoff onaholes or confusing vibrating eggs from anonymous marketplaces, only to be left disappointed, sore, and emotionally questioning their life choices.
Not on my watch.
Here, I provide real reviews of male sex toys—written by an actual user, not a copy-pasting affiliate zombie who’s never been wrist-deep in silicone. I test them, rate them, and occasionally give them a name (don’t judge me). If a stroker sucks—literally or metaphorically—I’ll let you know. If a new teledildonic device makes me see God in 720p, I’ll tell you that too.
No shame. No weirdness. Just honesty, humor, and a whole lot of lube.
So if you’re looking for advice, laughs, or just want to make an informed decision before you put your hard-earned cash into a soft, squishy canal of joy—you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s explore the wonderful, awkward, and surprisingly elegant world of male pleasure tech together.
Welcome aboard. Keep your hands clean (but not too clean).
— John James