When most of us recount our first sex toy experience, a lot of terrible and embarrassing memories are usually involved. Not only did we have no clue as to what kind of sex toy to buy back then, but we also had no idea what sort of pleasure was most enjoyable to us, nor did we have a proper warning about the potential dangers of buying the wrong shit. Even those who think they a good grasp on the sex toy industry sometimes buy a bad toy. Hey man, it happens.
By the time we get to the point where we’re buying hundred-dollar products, we should certainly know what we’re doing. Unfortunately, many otherwise smart and well-meaning people still don’t know their ass from their elbow when it comes to sex toys. It doesn’t help that there are so many to choose from, that’s for sure. Those poor folks fall for clever marketing schemes or heed the wrong advice and thus, they end up spending lots of money on expensive yet lackluster things that give them a false perception of what a good sex toy really is.
That trend can stop at any time, though; all that’s needed is a comprehensive buying guide geared specifically toward the customer. And since this guide has been put together for men seeking sexual gratification, it’s going to contain everything necessary to help you discover the perfect toy. If you’re not careful and refuse to do your homework, you could find yourself doing harm to your body or bank account as a result of buying shitty toys that aren’t made right.
Some toys are manufactured under lax standards or use potentially dangerous materials. I heard a story about one guy whose first toy leaked phthalates and other poisons into his anus. He may have saved some money by purchasing a discount toy or settling for the first thing that was advertised well, but you can only imagine how that situation turned out for him. Don’t let that happen to you; just keep reading.
First Things First
Be sure you know the difference between an actual sex toy and a product created strictly for educational purposes. For example, some states have bans on sex toys and only sell products that are intended to teach various things about human anatomy or sexuality. As such, those “toys” aren’t ideal for internal use and may contain tons of unsafe components that will ruin your day (and your life).
Furthermore, make certain you know what a sex toy is and what it isn’t. While almost anything can give you pleasure if you’re brave enough to use it on your genitals, a sex toy is defined as something very specific. According to the Oxford dictionary, a sex toy is:
“an object or device resembling human genitals that is used primarily to facilitate sexual pleasure, such as a dildo or vibrator, and also includes BDSM apparatuses and sex furniture such a slings, restraints, and pillows. However, the term does not apply to such items as birth control, pornography, herbal supplements, prolonging drugs, or condoms.”
Back in the day, sex toys used to be called “marital aids,” but obviously you don’t have to be married or even in a relationship to use and enjoy one. So, they’re simply referred to as “toys” these days because there’s something fun out there for everybody – male or female, gay or straight, married or not. Additionally, they’re not always sold in adult toy stores or by medical professionals anymore. In fact, you can find high-quality sex toys online or even sometimes at your local drug store.
It seems as though sex toys are becoming more mainstream, but therein lies the problem. Since the popularity of sex toys is becoming more prevalent, the quality therein is being compromised. This guide will help you narrow down your search and put an end to those painfully embarrassing and expensive mishaps described above.
The 6 Main Types of Adult Sex Toys
You’ll notice that sex toys come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They do a variety of things to induce pleasure: gyrate, vibrate, twirl, swirl, pump, and pluck. Some are manual while others are automatic. Toys are made from several different materials too. There are tons of options for every type of pleasure you’re looking to achieve – vaginal, penile, anal, or all the above, but for the purposes of this buying guide we will be focusing our efforts on finding high-quality penile and anal toys that are designed for the sexual desires of men.
Below are the 6 main types of male sex toys currently available on the market:
Perhaps the most popular type of male sex toy is the masturbator. This category probably has most variety and, unfortunately, the most junk. Male masturbators are diverse and delicious, but that doesn’t mean they’re all made the same. Typically, they come in two different forms: manual and automatic.
- Manual – A manual masturbator requires a sustained pumping action by your hand or a partner’s and allows for a fully customized, albeit sometimes exhausting, experience.
- Automatic – An automatic masturbator is operated by powerful motors that drive the toy up and down the shaft of the penis at varying speeds and intensities.
Manual masturbators are often less expensive than the automatic variety (which are sometimes referred to as “blowjob machines”), but that’s not always the case. However, depending on where you get either, both types usually have several different internal sleeve textures to choose from and can provide seriously pleasurable sensations to the penis through the use of the texture itself or by utilizing vibrations, motor movements, or otherwise.
Masturbators of this type can be used for several things, from producing a standard orgasm to stamina training. While most are large enough to accommodate average-sized dicks, some are designed specifically for smaller or larger men. It’s important to check out the specs before buying one, since there are numerous automatic and manual male masturbators made specifically to tantalize the corona (tip) of the penis only.
NOTE: To get the best results while using a manual or automatic male masturbator, don’t forget to use a good lube. Also, be mindful of the materials used to make each toy, since all lubricants are not compatible with all types of material.
- Cock Rings and Cages
Cock rings and cages are male sex toys that are worn snugly around the penis, usually at the base. The main purpose of using a cock ring or cage is to restrict blood flow to a hardened penis, resulting in a stronger erection and prolonged sexual pleasure. Loved especially by the BDSM community, well-made cock rings and cages are a terrific tool for sexual dominance and role playing. Then again, some guys just like to wear cock rings for genital adornment, since a nice-looking one can make the dick appear more attractive.
Good cock rings and cages come in a variety of shapes and sizes, with more functionality options than the average man can shake a stick at. Not all of them do much besides grip your dick with proper pressure. But while many cock rings and cages are awesome without all the bells and whistles, you’ll usually find them with the following basic features:
- Vibration – You’ll typically have several speeds and intensities to choose from.
- Perineum Stimulators – Most cock rings will feature a textured or protruding pad for added pleasure to your undercarriage.
- Clitoral Stimulators – Some might even have a little extra dollop that extends from the base to please a female partner.
- Adjustable Circumference – Since no two men have identical penises, it’s important to find a cock ring or cage that can easily adjust to the size of yours.
- Ball Clasps – Many cock rings and cages feature a ball loop to keep your danglers in check.
- Remote Control – If the toy has vibe functions, it may very well come with a wireless remote control. However, don’t let the absence of one fool you. Some of the best cock rings have built-in controls that work just fine.
- Bluetooth – Better yet, some of the fancier and more technologically advanced cock rings are Bluetooth compatible and can be operated at long distances. Keep in mind, however, that a good internet connection and a willing partner are two things you’ll need for that, but they don’t ever come in the box.
- Flexibility – Look for a cock ring that’s flexible, although you won’t likely find a cock cage that is because that sort of defeats the purpose.
If you locate a cock ring or cage without at least some of those features, then chances are you’re not fucking with the right stuff. Depending on what you’re using it for, a few of those features are probably unnecessary. Still, it’s nice to have options, am I right?
- Prostate Massagers (a.k.a. P-Spot Stimulators)
In the realm of male sex toys, you’ll probably find more prostate massagers than anything else. P-spot stimulators are designed for both gay and straight men, plus they provide some of the most intense orgasms known to man. Because the prostate gland is so sensitive and often hidden in different spots within the anus, p-spot toys are naturally diverse in the way they’re shaped as well as in the way they function.
Generally speaking, a prostate massager is a device that gets inserted into the anus far enough to touch the p-spot (prostate gland) and produce concentrated pleasure. While many of them vibrate, some do not. The ones that don’t are often called “butt plugs,” but their main objective is always the same. The functionality of each type of prostate massager is meant to be customized to the user’s liking, but it’s tough to know what you like if you’ve never tried one.
To know whether you have a good prostate massager on your hands or not, look for the following attributes:
- Effective Design – A prostate massager is worthless if it’s not shaped properly for the male body. This usually includes a slight curve or series of bulbs and a rounded tip.
- Proper Proportions – The size-to-anus ratio of any butt plug or p-spot stimulator is important, since it will determine the amount of pleasure or pain derived from the toy.
- Silkiness – A good prostate massager will be made from silky, body-safe materials such as TPE or medical-grade silicone. However, you may find some high-quality options that are made from smooth glass or polished metal.
- Versatility – Some prostate massagers feature ball loops and/or perineum or clitoral stimulators, making them extremely versatile for numerous types of play whether on your own or with a partner.
Fortunately, prostate massagers are similar to other male sex toys in that they come in a variety of shapes and sizes. This gives beginners a good place to start and butt-play pros a place to explore. Most p-spot toys are shaped like slightly curved shafts or bulbous eggs, but there are always exceptions to every rule. Furthermore, good p-spot massagers offer a variety of safety features, touch-sensitive functions, and perineum stimulators that give rise to heightened sensations and improved ergonomics.
NOTE: Choosing the right prostate massager (or any anal sex toy for that matter) is a sensitive suject that relies heavily on your personal preferences. As with masturbators, always use plenty of high-quality lubricant to enjoy your toy to the max.
- Sex Dolls
Things have gotten a little crazy in the sex doll arena. It used to be that a sex doll was simply a blow-up balloon-type toy with a couple holes cut out for your Johnson. These days, however, sex dolls vary from super simplistic to extremely high-tech. There are even some sex dolls that are designed to look and act like real human beings. While that may seem sort of creepy to some, most men find it fascinatingly fuckable.
Of course, with the added features comes added cost. In other words, the more you get, the more you pay. As with manual and automatic masturbators, sex doll canals feature a variety of sleeve textures. However, they’re usually not removeable or interchangeable like they are in handheld masturbators. On the other hands, you can get a sex doll that has a canal texture to match you favorite porn star. Then again, you can do that with a handheld toy as well if you buy it from the right source.
Most of the time, sex dolls are life-sized manual masturbators, but you can find automatic versions for a few extra clams. In fact, you may even be able to buy a sex doll with preprogrammed porn content, Bluetooth compatibility, or customizable appearances. While the best handheld masturbators often have the same features, only high-end sex dolls give you the ability to create such a realistic experience. On the same token, simple sex dolls allow you to have sex with a human-like partner without all the bells and whistles. Put simply, it’s all about what you’re looking for and how much money you want to spend.
Aside from the plastic toys we all think of when we hear the term “sex doll,” some luxury sex dolls are made from skin-like materials that are designed to feel as realistic as possible. Keep in mind, however, that some of those materials are rather porous and therefore difficult to maintain. To get the most out of whatever type of sex doll you purchase, be sure to follow the care instructions to the letter.
If you’re looking for the sensations of a sex doll and the convenience or price point of a masturbator, then a torso or butt might be your best bet. There are some pretty spectacular torsos out there, with terrific feeling canals and superb designs. Made to look like an ass or pussy and created to provide a realistic bounce-back, most torsos give a mind-blowing orgasm for a lot less money than a complete sex doll.
Still, not all torsos are made the same. Simply being shaped like a human ass or pussy and featuring a conveniently placed hole is not the only thing that makes a torso or butt worthy of being purchased. You’ll want to stay away from toys like this that are too lightweight because it won’t be able to withstand a decent thrust. And while that might limit where you can store it, the increased weight will enhance your pleasure tremendously.
- Hollow Strap-Ons and Penis Sleeves
Having sex with the penis you were born with is no longer mandatory thanks to the various penis sleeves and hollow strap-ons now available. These types of toys can turn your otherwise unremarkable dick into a textured dildo that packs more of a punch. With penis sleeves, you can thrust and in and out of your partner naturally while creating more of an interesting and stimulating sensation. They’re worn like a condom and often disposable too.
As for hollow strap-ons, they make it possible for you to increase the length, girth, or hardness of your penis instantly and without medicines or pre-game masturbation. Designed to be strapped directly to your groin area, the hollowed center is large enough to place a flaccid or semi-erect penis inside. This can make it much easier to keep up the marathon even after your member is exhausted. Able to be used on men or women, hollow strap-on toys are a creative solution for men with erectile dysfunction, are made to feel realistic, and are usually somewhat flexible.
Additionally, some of the better strap-ons and penis sleeves feature textures on the inside to increase the pleasure for the wearer. Most of them come in sets for convenience purposes, but that’s not a steadfast rule. You’ll find single units, pairs, and trios depending on your budget and who you buy it from.
What’s Not Included in This Buying Guide
Now another thing: You might find some penis extenders out there that claim to enhance pleasure. Keep in mind that the manufacturer usually means your pleasure will be increased AFTER you use the product as directed for a while. Extenders are made specifically to elongate the penis or fix Peyronie’s disease, although some of them can assist with stamina control or be used for dominance. Penis pumps and extenders are effective tools to make your dick larger naturally, but they’re certainly not sex toys.
Although you’ll find them in various functional designs, the basic components of a pump or extender include a suction mechanism that’s powered manually or with a battery-operated motor. Most penis pumps and/or extenders increase the length and girth of your family jewels within a few weeks. Depending on which one you use and how closely you follow the instructions, results always vary slightly. Because penis extenders are in a sort of grey area, we won’t be including them in this buying guide.
The Top 10 Tips for Finding the Right Toy
Now that you know what’s out there, it’s time to start learning about how to choose the best one in each category. It has been said that even professional perverts are often surprised by the sheer variety offered by today’s sex toy industry. So, it’s important for you to recognize quality in the face of such overwhelming quantity.
Below are the top 10 things you need to consider or ask yourself before buying a sex toy from any of the categories listed above:
- What Kind of Kink Are You Into?
Do you like toys that push the envelope of your sexual desires or do you like to keep things pretty familiar? If you’re someone who isn’t comfortable with trying new things, you may not want to purchase a sex toy that’s too off the wall. While the average toy is designed to produce extreme pleasure, the way you feel when using it is subject to your personal preference.
As such, buying a sex toy that has a bunch of features you won’t use is an exercise in futility. However, spending money on a toy that allows you to explore your boundaries is a good idea because it allows you to grow in your sexuality without having to buy more stuff. So, what kind of kink are you into? Will the sex toy you’re considering get you there or is it all wrong for your dong?
- How Much Discretion Do You Require?
Before you get too far ahead of yourself, you should know that the relative size of whatever sex toy you choose has little to do with how discreet you can be when using it. While some toys come with a convenient carrying case or storage pouch, many do not. Furthermore, if the toy has several attachments it could be difficult to keep the thing hidden from prying eyes.
Prior to buying anything, make sure you have enough room in your house to store it when it’s not in use. Especially if you’re using a toy that’s super realistic looking, proper storage is of the upmost importance. You may not get what you need in the box, but most toy manufacturers sell carrying cases separately if you’re desperate. And although it may increase the cost, it will certainly decrease your embarrassment.
- Do You Have Any Mobility Issues?
If you have problems moving your body (namely your hips or arms), then certain toys may not be right for you. For example, manual masturbators and torsos probably won’t render the same results for people with mobility issues as they do for those who can move properly. Alternatively, those with mobility problems might not like the sensations provided by some automatic toys. So, if you find it difficult to jerk off or thrust into your partner, don’t buy a toy that requires the same kind of physical activity.
Luckily, some manual masturbators are compatible with mounts, and many automatic toys can be used by a willing partner. There are even some automatic masturbators that can be plugged into an interface to fuck you hands-free using downloadable porn content, VR goggles, and Bluetooth. In this technologically advanced age, there’s literally something for everybody; you just have to pay to play.
- Do You Have Any Skin Sensitivities?
As mentioned, sex toys are made with a wide variety of materials, from TPE and other polymers to glass, metal, and skin-safe silicone. If you have skin sensitivities or allergies, stick with the silicone or glass. Stay away from porous materials that can harbor bacteria or cause infection. Then again, you can always use a condom with most sex toys. However, condom use may or may not reduce the sensations derived, especially if the toy is textured.
While silicone, metal, and glass are typically hypoallergenic, they don’t always feel as realistic as you’d like them to. Look for a toy that’s made from medical-grade silicone or some sort of patented skin-like material if that’s a concern for you. Usually, you can find something that’s safe for all skin types but still feels amazing. Oh, and never go for a toy with phthalates in it because those chemicals can do more than cause a rash.
NOTE: Phthalates are esters of phthalic acid used to soften plastics and have been linked to the development of certain types of cancer. They’re most commonly found in jelly, PVC, rubber, and latex sex toys. You can tell a toy contains phthalates by looking at the label or by watching out for a horrible chemical odor. Toys with phthalates are usually oily as well.
- Who Will You Be Playing With?
It’s perfectly natural to buy a sex toy that you plan to use by yourself, but if you have a partner who wants invited to the party then you’ll want to get a toy that’s couple’s friendly. Look for things like wireless remote controls, long-distance operating interfaces, Bluetooth compatibility, virtual reality manifolds, and bi-sexual or unilateral features such as clitoral stimulators and/or vibrators. After all, you don’t want to be the only one getting a proper orgasm, do you?
If you plan to be a solo artist most of the time, then you’ll only need a toy that has the features you like personally. This might save you money at first, but it drastically limits your options in the future. Think of the long-term benefits of each toy’s design when considering its worth. Will you be playing with anyone else, and if so, does the product offer anything to keep them aroused?
- How Much Money Do You Want to Spend?
As one of the least important considerations when looking for a good sex toy, the price of the product is still important. Nobody wants to get ripped off, but you won’t find a good toy if you’re a cheap ass. Expect to spend between $100 and $300 for a high-end toy. Think of it as an investment in your perfect perversion, and only spend the money if you’re sure the toy will last.
Moreover, consider the fact that some toys require additional parts to work properly: attachments, lube, toy cleaner, Internet connections, membership fees, etc. If you can’t realistically afford the price of the toy and all its necessary accoutrements, then you likely won’t have the best experience possible and could end up losing money, patience, and street cred.
- Where Do You Plan to Go?
Travelers need to be aware that not all toys can be taken along for the ride. Although the size of the toy isn’t always the primary concern, it weighs heavily on how easy it is to travel with. Look for toys with discreet carrying cases or, better yet, travel locks to keep the motors from activating on long trips. If you like a toy and it comes with neither, remove the batteries or power source before leaving the house and be sure to keep your toy safely stored in a secured suitcase. You may some explaining to do with Customs agents, but at least you’ll have a good sex toy with you while you’re on the road.
- What Features Do You Like?
Sex toy ownership is a subjective thing. Not all features are for everybody. If you’re not into vibrations, don’t buy a toy that has vibe modes as its primary feature. If you’re someone who likes sexy surprises, opt for a toy with a wireless remote or Bluetooth interface. If you plan to take your playthings into the shower or pool, look for something waterproof. If you’d prefer none of that, then only go for toys that are simple. You get what you pay for, so don’t pay for more than you’ll use.
- How Often Do You Plan to Use the Toy?
The durability of your chosen toy is as important as anything else, especially if you plan to use it often or with multiple partners. Furthermore, buying a rechargeable toy can make it easier to play continually without having to spring for several cases of batteries throughout the life of your toy. Although you might initially expect to only use your toy every once in a while, a highly pleasurable product may make you change your mind.
- What Kind of Lube Do You Prefer?
Lube preference is a personal choice, but it should also coincide with the type of material your toy is made out of. For instance, silicone toys don’t play well with oil-based or silicone-based lubes. Study up on lube types and their compatibility with different materials so you don’t ruin a good thing for lack of knowledge.
The Final Verdict
See? Picking out the perfect sex toy isn’t as hard as you thought it was. All you need to know is what your options are and how to choose between them based on your personal desires. This guide is designed to help you get one step closer to the best orgasm of your life, whether that’s with an expensive toy or a drug store dime piece. This is in no way an endorsement for any specific brand, but instead a concise look at the possibilities of modern-day perversion.
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.