We have had a lot of things up in our asses, including our dickhead boss who thinks it\u2019s funny to switch back and forth between masturbators and prostate massagers without telling us. Never knowing quite what we will get, our team was recently surprised with the Lovehoney Desire and we immediately got to work reviewing it like good little boys (because if we don\u2019t, our boss will fire us and we\u2019ll have to get real jobs).<\/p>\n

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What Is the Lovehoney Desire?<\/b><\/p>\n

The Lovehoney Desire is a prostate massager, and if you don\u2019t know what one of those are then you should probably find out before proceeding. The Desire is a remote controlled tush tickler and it\u2019s designed exclusively for men based on the body-specific ergonomic shape of the toy. We lovingly removed it from the box to investigate its main features before experiencing them for ourselves.<\/p>\n

The Main Features<\/b><\/p>\n

When you first look at the Lovehoney Desire, it doesn\u2019t appear to be much different than other prostate massagers on the market today. However, it features a unique L-shape design that stimulates the p-spot and perineum at the same time \u2013 something we found sort of unusual. We were big fans of vibratory variety of this toy too: 8 different modes and 12 distinct intensity levels. That\u2019s impressive in our book. And while it wasn\u2019t the most powerful thing we\u2019ve ever felt, the silk-spun silicone had a nice skin-like feel to it and that increased our pleasure (marginally).<\/p>\n

It\u2019s probably important to note the dimensions of this thing as well. Despite what any of your former lovers have told you, size matters. The Lovehoney Desire measures 4 inches in circumferences and 3.75 inches in insertable length. In other words, it\u2019s in the goldilocks zone between being too large and too small. We thought that was thoughtful of the brand, since assholes come in all shapes and sizes (i.e.: our boss is 6\u20193\u201d).<\/p>\n

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What Comes in the Box?<\/b><\/p>\n

Opening the boxes to these things is one of our favorite parts of the job because it\u2019s like having a birthday party for our prostates. What comes inside the Lovehoney Desire box was a little disappointing though if we\u2019re being honest (and we are). This is all we got:<\/p>\n

\n
• The Lovehoney Desire Remote Controlled Prostate Massager (of course)<\/li>\n
• A storage bag with the brand\u2019s insignia<\/li>\n
• An instruction manual<\/li>\n
• A USB charger with cord\n
  \n
  • The box has a nifty compartment for the charger and opening to feed it through, which allowed us to charge our toy discretely.<\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
  • A remote control (with batteries included)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    NOTE: We had to remove a small bit of plastic between from the remote to get it to turn on; we learned that the hard way. Maybe we didn\u2019t notice that right away because there was no lube sample in the box, so we had to scramble to locate what we needed to get started. We\u2019re docking you points, Lovehoney.<\/p>\n

    What It Feels Like<\/b><\/p>\n

    The Lovehoney Desire has this firm and dented tip on one of the arms, which is supposed to hug the prostate for intense and continual sensations. We can\u2019t disagree. It felt like our junk was being cupped by the nicest hands on the planet \u2013 hands with fingers that knew exactly where to touch. For a sex toy that costs under a hundred bucks, we really can\u2019t complain (but you know we will).<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Our Cheers and Jeers <\/b><\/p>\n

    That brings us to the pros and cons \u2013 the good, the bad, and the ugly of the Lovehoney Desire Remote Control Vibrating Prostate Massager (whew, that was a mouthful). Here is our expert opinion:<\/p>\n

    PROS<\/b><\/p>\n

    \n
    • Get Wet \u2013 <\/b>The toy is completely submersible in baths, showers, pools, and hot tubs (just not the public kind).<\/li>\n
    • Planetary Pleasure \u2013 <\/b>The USB charger works anywhere in the world and is totally eco-friendly.<\/li>\n
    • Go the Distance \u2013 <\/b>The remote control has an impressive 8-meter (24 ft.) range to make things interesting.<\/li>\n
    • Lock It Down \u2013 <\/b>It has a handy travel lock so you don\u2019t start fucking your suitcase by accident.<\/li>\n
    • No-Rash Included \u2013 <\/b>The toy is latex and phthalate free, but that doesn\u2019t mean you can skip the lube.<\/li>\n
    • Pliable Perfection \u2013 <\/b>This thing is impressively firm but still flexible enough to move around while inserted. Nice.<\/li>\n
    • Safety First \u2013 <\/b>The L-shaped design helps keep the toy in place when you\u2019re wiggling with pleasure.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

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      <\/a><\/p>\n

      \n

      CHECK CUSTOMER FEEDBACK ON LOVEHONEY.COM<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

      CONS<\/b><\/p>\n

      \n
      • Two for One \u2013 <\/b>It takes two hours (or 120 minutes) to charge this thing enough to play with it for one hour (or 60 minutes). Shouldn\u2019t it be the other way around?<\/li>\n
      • Keep \u2018em Separated \u2013 <\/b>While the toy is 100% waterproof, the remote is not.<\/li>\n
      • Home on the Range \u2013 <\/b>The remote only works when it\u2019s in a direct line with the toy, so you won\u2019t be doing as much mystery fucking as you\u2019d expect.<\/li>\n
      • Cute as a Button \u2013<\/b> It makes this adorable buzzing noise that\u2019s so loud it can be heard across the house and possibly by the neighbors. Isn\u2019t that cute? No? We didn\u2019t think so either.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        There aren\u2019t many more things we can say about the Lovehoney Desire, good or bad. We did notice how it is advertised as being a hands-free device, and we suppose if you count the remote control then they\u2019re not wrong. However, we did experience some slippage when things got hot and heavy, so many the manufacturers can work on that detail next. After all, there\u2019s nothing worse than losing an organism sensation just as you\u2019re getting ready to cum.<\/p>\n

        The Final Verdict <\/b><\/p>\n

        We never know quite how to finish these things, kind of like how we don\u2019t ever know the best way to tell our one night stand it\u2019s time to leave. Awkward! Lovehoney, we like you but your taxi has arrived. On a scale of 1 to 10, we give your Desire toy a 6.5 because it had too many flaws in the most major areas. It slipped, it was noisy, it didn\u2019t have the best range, and it took forever to charge. Go back to the drawing board guys. Better luck next time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        We have had a lot of things up in our asses, including our dickhead boss who thinks it\u2019s funny to … <\/p>\n

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