We don’t mean to brag, but we once had sex with Jenna Haze – the porn star-turned-website entrepreneur that makes every man’s dick stand at attention. Yeah, her. Okay, so we only fucked her molded replica made by Fleshlight, but it was close enough. Trust us, it’s a simulated experience that will have you second-guessing the very nature of reality.
The space-time continuum wasn’t exactly breached while using the Maze, but it did feel like we blasted off at the speed of light for a minute or two. Maybe she should have named this thing after herself, “The Haze,” because that’s what we were all left in when we were done. It’s the simple use of magic molds and willing women that gives the world sexy stuff like this to enjoy. We’re sorry we’re not sorry that you have to work in a smelly cubicle instead of doing this shit for living like us.
What Makes the Maze Different?
Since you’ll only fuck the real Jenna Haze in your dreams, it might be a good idea to screw the Fleshlight Girls Maze if you ever get the chance. And since you’ll probably just continue to beat your beat in the basement like the loser you are, we’ll explain why you should stop that as soon as humanly possible. The Maze is inspired by an extremely sultry adult entertainer voted in 2010 as the “Dirtiest Girl in Porn.” She knows she’s got a good thing between her legs, and so does the lucky artisan who captured her Obsession Texture. It feels welcoming and open at first, but then gets tighter the deeper you get. The numerous nodes on the inside work the shaft like a pro, indicative of Ms. Haze’s seemingly untouchable popularity in the industry.
What Does It Feel Like?
Put simply, it’s almost as though the opening to the Maze knows your coming (or about to anyway). It spreads open like two arms receiving a hug, only the hug is for your throbbing cock. Best of all, the grip gets tighter after a delicate wall is breached, simulating the feelings of real sex with an actual woman. And it’s not just any woman; it’s the blazingly hot Jenna Haze – a brunette bombshell with a serious thirst for the dick.
The Pros and Cons
We dare not sit here and knock the lovely Jenna Haze (in the off-chance we ever get to meet her in person – hint, hint), but we will scrutinize the quality of the toy that’s supposed to represent her lovely lady parts. Although she didn’t get a mouth mold like some of the other stars, her ass and pussy models are more than worthy of close inspection:
- The 500 Club – Not only has Ms. Haze been in over 500 adult films, but her unique Fleshlight sleeve has to have at least 500 stimulation nodes running down the inside. We didn’t count; how could we?
- Open and Close Case – Fucking Jenna Haze must be amazing – like coming home after a long trip. The open-feeling versus the immediately following closed-feeling create a sexy surprise with every thrust.
- On the Radar – This toy is exceptionally well-made, like all the products in the Fleshlight lineup, complete with the famous SuperSkin material and a convenient, ergonomically-correct design.
- Stick to the Real Thing – That “amazing” SuperSkin material is the same shit we’ve been complaining about for years. Yes, it feels a lot like real skin, but it also feels like cold plastic and it’s still sticky as all get out. Enough with the shit, Fleshlight!
- Push It to the Limit – Unless you’ve been working out a lot or masturbate 13,227 times a day, using this heavy ass toy will give you a shoulder cramp after a few minutes. Good thing the texture is so intense; you probably won’t last that long.
Our Final Verdict
Jenna Haze, if you’re reading this, you have an ass and pussy that make us want to slap our mamas. Readers, we tried to make this review objective but that’s really hard when you actually love the product you’ve tested. We can’t say it’s our favorite mold in the Fleshlight Girls lineup, but we can’t say it isn’t either. All we can do is mention, once again, that we got closer than you ever have to fucking the real J. Haze, and that’s good enough for us.
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.