We have been impatiently waiting for the release of the new and improved Onyx for quite some time. In fact, it’s about all our team could talk about after we reviewed the original. As one of our favorite sexy-time innovations, the Kiiroo Onyx set the stage for the debauchery that was to follow. Since its inception, that revolutionary sex toy has changed the way the world enjoys sex – either with themselves or with someone else. Whether a fan of the brand and its ingenious inventions or not, there’s one thing that nobody is arguing about: the new Kiiroo Onyx 2 is like the iPhone8 for penises.
Okay, so maybe we’re the only ones saying that, but our expertise in this regard speaks volumes about the quality of our comparisons. Think of the original Onyx as the first Nintendo. Yes, it kicked ass and it will always have a cult following. No, there’s nothing wrong with someone remaining faithful to a well-made toy. Meanwhile, the real world is moving on to bigger and better things, starting with the new Onyx 2 that just hit the market. With sticky fingers and high hopes, we set out to give it a try and see if the improvements were anything to speak about.
The original Onyx was a solid piece of machinery, although it did have a few minor design and operation flaws. As one of the first of its kind, however, the big O was a gold medal winner in our O-Face Olympics. So naturally, we were beyond excited to see the improved version grace the market right when our sex toy appetites had grown stale. So, what is it about this new model that made us feel like we could love again?
What Is the Kiiroo Onyx 2?
Just like the first one, the Kiiroo Onyx 2 is also a handheld automatic masturbator that is often referred to as a “blowjob machine.” Costing, on average, a mere $220, this toy is reasonably priced for all the shit that it does.
There are numerous different sensations provided by the KO2, including ones that are synced with online porn content from FeelMe.com. The original Onyx had that capability as well, but the new version contains much more for your viewing pleasure, plus it’s video chat compatible too. So basically, you can turn yourself on by simply turning the Onyx 2 on after charging it a bit. It keeps going for about an hour with a fully charge, and the motor is super powerful (just as we suspected).
Made primarily of high-grade polymer and silicone, this luxury sex toy is made specifically for enhancing the sensations of intimate touch, even when distance and/or dates are an issue. Compatible with the Fleshlight Launch, Kiiroo Pearl, or another Kiiroo Onyx 2, this bad boy is a mother fucking show stopper regardless of how you use it. With the ability to perform 140 strokes per minute on full speed (that’s about 2.5 strokes a second), the upgraded model is also fashioned to be quieter and more discrete as well. (!)
KIIROO ONYX 2 PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
The Main Features
Having tried out the Onyx (extensively), we more or less molested its every feature, right down to the touch-sensitive speed controls on the side of the toy. And although that’s a really sweet improvement, we’re still waiting for a voice activated toy so we never have to touch the damn thing. Eh, maybe we’re asking for too much here.
The Kiiroo Onyx 2 also comes with a new motor – one that seems to have been designed by Nasa. It is super quiet, ultra-powerful, and remains active for quite some time. Listen, if you can keep going after an hour with this thing, you’re a better man than we are. With 10 contracting inner rings that work in tandem to simulate the sensations of real sex in real-time (when used with the online content), it’s far-fetched to assume that any of us could wear out the motor.
And you’d think that all this power would make the Onyx 2 a heavy son of a bitch, but it’s not. In fact, it’s surprisingly lightweight and conveniently designed well enough to be portable to most places. We thought the new version was much sleeker and sexier, not to mention more expertly made. Taking obvious inspiration from the super discrete Fleshlight brand, and using their famous SuperSkin material, the KO2 doesn’t look like the average sex toy (or anything else we’ve ever seen for that matter).
The swanky sleeve material is only slightly textured, but those pleasure rings are what’s up. The designers of the Kiiroo Onyx 2 must have been really confident in the effectiveness of their invention, and it’s not difficult to see why. The extra soft, hyper-realistic sleeve texture juxtaposed by the brilliant white, clean-feeling silicone and combined with the gyration of the rings makes for a pretty wild ride. Through this toy, we were able to feel the real-time movements of someone else like never before.
What Comes in the Box?
First of all, these two industry giants may make millions in sales but it’s not because they advertise on their packaging. Our toys were shipped to us in unmarked boxes, appearing more like large shipments of office supplies than anything else. The website is also encrypted, so even our banks were none the wiser. Meanwhile, the Kiiroo Onyx 2 arrives snugly in protective garb, shielding the delicate mechanism from the trials of its commute.
Inside the relatively commercial-looking box were a number of handy-dandy objects that helped us get the show on the road. The Fleshlight brand is known for offering customers a taste of their lube inventory with every purchase, the Kiiroo is famous for making high-tech products with minimal assembly required. Together, we found the following items in our boxes:
- The Kiiroo Onyx 2 (of course)
- A USB charging cable
- A sample packet of water-based lube
- A protective end cap for the opening of the toy
- A simple instruction manual (in multiple languages)
- A warranty registration card
We didn’t find any toy cleaner, preservation powder (sold by Fleshlight), or carrying case either – not cool, guys! Where the hell are we supposed to store this high-dollar gizmo? Being as it’s compatible with the Fleshlight Launch and Kiiroo Pearl, we don’t want any missing or broken parts when it’s go time.
Furthermore, the box it comes in is barely big enough to shove everything back inside. Just when we thought the manufacturer had thought of everything, there’s this. Of course, “this” is one of those things you’d never know until you used the Onyx 2, that’s why we do this shit for you. Our tip: get yourself a storage container for this expensive hunk of horniness or else you’ll be sorry.
What It Feels Like
What you won’t be sorry about is buying the damn thing, that’s for sure. Regardless of how much you pay for it, the Onyx 2 by Fleshlight and Kiiroo is a testament of what well-timed teamwork can accomplish when it’s focused on the right shit. This toy (when used with its compatible devices) let us fuck hoes in different area codes like we were has-been 90s rappers on a comeback tour. The best feelings came (and so did we) when our VR goggles were being used to watch the online porn on FeelMe, but then again, we’re cooler than you and we know how this shit goes down.
PRO TIP: We strongly advice you to get some top notch water-based lubricant. Our top selection at the moment is GUN OIL H2O LUBE, so be sure to check it out.
And for God’s sakes, do not use peanut butter with this device!
Despite all that, we still wanted to be as thorough as humanly possible. So, we decided to pit the Kiiroo Onyx 2 up against its fiercest competitors to find out who came out on top. After all, we’re picky assholes who can’t function without bitching. Our mothers didn’t hug us enough.
Here is what that neglect helped us discover:
The Kiiroo Onyx 1 VS the Kiiro Onyx 2
This comparison made it obvious that the Kiiroo brand has been churning out high-quality sex toys for a while now, but only one could be the winner. The Onyx 1 was (is) a bad mamma-jamma, but what it lacks in power it makes up for in sexiness. Able to do most of the things the Onyx 2 can do, it’s not as powerful and the charge doesn’t last as long. The new and improved version is also equipped with a touch-sensitive speed control, more online content, and boasts compatibility with the Fleshlight Launch and the new Kiiroo Pearl 2.
WINNER: Same size, overall shape, and design as its predecessor, the Onyx 2 is definitely taking home the trophy for being an excellent team player.
PRO TIP: Be sure to use upgraded equipment when enjoying this new-fangled bastard. We learned this the hard way.
The Kiiroo Onyx 2 VS the Fleshlight Launch
Is there really any comparison to the Launch by Kiiroo/Fleshlight? We tried to compare these two miracles of modern science, but when they’re compatible with one another it’s very difficult to choose between them. As a stand-alone product, the Onyx 2 is a terrific addition to any sex toy gallery. In fact, it may be superior enough to replace most of your masturbators (minus the tiny pocket pussies we all need in a pinch). However, nothing can come close to the outright ridiculousness that is the Fleshlight Launch repertoire. It can easily house almost any Fleshlight or Kiiroo toy you may already have, plus it has vibration patterning, speed control, suction diagnostics, and Bluetooth compatibility. The only drawback is its size, but we always thought bigger meant better.
WINNER: Unfortunately, this one is a tie. We suggest owning them both to spoil yourself with a wet and wild ride on the high-tech sex side.
PRO TIP: Use the Fleshlight sleeve warmer to take your erotic experiences to the next level of realistic. Slap on plenty of lube and it feels better than actual sex. Pretty soon, we’re all going to be fucking robotic masturbators to online virtual porn in the sanctity of our dark living rooms. We’re okay with that.
The Kiiroo Onyx 2 VS the AutoBlow 2
Our thoughts on the AutoBlow 2 were positive overall, but it certainly didn’t end up being able to compete with the Onyx 1, let alone the Onyx 2. The AutoBlow 2, albeit offering a great artificial blowjob, is so rudimentary compared to the new Kiiroo lineup that it’s not even funny. No virtual porn content, no compatibility with the Fleshlight Launch, no brand-similar add-ons or compatible toys, no bueno. In this day and age, we need something with a little more fire power – some juice to knock the cock cobwebs loose. When compared to the Onyx 2, the AutoBlow 2 can go blow itself.
WINNER: We didn’t make it obvious by our closing statement? The Onyx 2 makes the AutoBlow 2 its bitch. Was that clear enough for ya? If not, then consider this: the AutoBlow has a smaller sleeve capacity than the Onyx, meaning bigger dicks don’t stand a chance even if they wanted to.
PRO TIP: Don’t waste your money on the AutoBlow 2 in a world that offers shit like the Onyx 2 and the Fleshlight Launch; and don’t say we didn’t warn you.
PARTICIPATE IN A VIRTUAL SEX ORGY!
Our Cheers and Jeers
As a high-tech masturbator, the Kiiroo brand uses PC and MAC-compatible software (for windows 7 and 10). It has a strong 4.0 Bluetooth capability as well, synching like a champ to most smart devices, including its sister, the Kiiroo Pearl.
- Distance Makes the Dick Grow Harder – The Onyx 2 can be used alone or instantly linked with a partner no matter where you perverts are in the world.
- Getting Geeky with It – This bad ass is compatible with more than just Oculus Rift. It works wonders with Google Cardboard and Samsung Gear as well.
- Whisper Sweet Nothings – The invisible teledildonic technology made everyone involved feel like we had sexual super powers.
- Easy as 1-2-3 – The SuperSkin sleeve is easily removable for cleaning, and the Onyx 2 also features a power level/Bluetooth connectivity indicator to ensure a strong bond between all parties involved.
- Flip the Script – You can turn the sleeve inside out for a whole new sensation, so it’s a 2-for-1 toy if nothing else.
- Variety Is the Spice of Life – Properly synched, the Onyx 2 lets users interact with a live partner or bask in a cyber sea full of pre-recorded porn content from the industry’s top stars.
- Free Range Freaks – There are no strings, cords, or wires attached to this sleek son of a bitch, so go be a freak wherever your heart (or dick) desires.
- Quiet as a Mouse Fart – If you can hear this thing while it’s on, you’re goddamn Superman.
- Inertia Is a Bastard – The Onyx 2 requires an initial charge of about 3.5-4 hours, and needs to be charged for 2-3 hours between uses. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
- Lemme Upgrade Ya – Just like with the original Onyx 1, the Onyx 2 requires frequent equipment updates to keep it running smoothly – something we thought was a pain in the ass.
- Hey Big Spender – The Onyx 2 may be a bit salty for some customers, but we like to think of it as an investment in our perversion.
- D’s Nuts – The interactive 3D interface is impressive simply because it’s 3-dimensional, but would it kill them to add more content? We were done with the library after week one.
- Can’t Touch This – The touch-sensitive controls can be a bitch in certain circumstances, unfortunately. Again, where’s the voice activated shit, fellas?
Although there are obviously more good points than bad when it comes to the Kiiroo Onyx 2, we still had some qualms that we hope become implemented into the new model. Yes, we’re already thinking about the Onyx 3 and we’re not even close to apologizing. Someone has to keep these sons of bitches on their toes.
IMPORTANT NOTE: We felt that we should take the time to mention how this toy is not available to the fine folks living in Canada. We can’t tell you why they don’t fuck with Canadians, but we did notice the disclaimer when placing our orders. We’d say that’s a pretty big flaw, eh?
WHERE TO BUY:
The Final Verdict
For a revolutionary sex toy that costs less than $200(with our special discount code) and comes ready to enhance your love life even from afar, we’d say the Kiiroo Onyx 2 is well worth the money. It has a plethora of content (for the average Joe) and grants users access to sex with porn stars such as Tanya Tate, Lisa Ann, Jasmine Jae, and Bobbi Eden just to mention a few. In short, this toy is designed to give its followers a full body knob job that lasts long enough to get the job done and then some.
Furthermore, the manufacturers of the Onyx (Kiiroo) recently launched a cutting-edge innovation that works in tandem with FeelPornStars.com. It is a compatible website that gives visitors access to a perverted 3D wonderland, allowing them to freely explore the depths of their depravity. We were big fans of this “expansion pack,” especially considering how often we were inclined to use our toys. The only problem is that users of the website are forced to purchase coins for content. We knew it was too good to be true.
Overall, the new Kiiroo Onyx 2 is a big step up from its predecessor, the original Onyx. It is more powerful, features a longer lasting motor, a sleeker design, a lighter-weight body, an improved SuperSkin sleeve texture, and high-tech speed controls that require little interaction. In other words, this toy is certainly made for lazy sexual gluttons, and those are the only people we like.
On our coveted scale of 1 to 10, the new and improved Kiiroo Onyx 2 gets a well-deserved 9, leaving room only for the brand’s next invention. What will they think of next? Well, it will all depend on how bitchy critics like us are, and how willing we are to tell the truth even when it stings. You can check out or buy the Kiiroo Onyx 2 at the official fleshlight/kiiroo onyx 2 website.
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.