It used to be impossible for a small-dicked man to do anything about the shitty hand he was dealt in life (and in his pants). But thanks to the hard work and dedication of a few perverted scientists, we stubby and not-so-chubby dudes now stand a real chance in the showers among those horse-cocked sons of bitches.
However, the modern market is beyond replete with products that promise the stars, from pills and ointments to complex devices with integrated exercise programs. So, how does anyone know which option to choose? After all, some of the shit out there is super costly and, if it ends up being ineffective, could turn out as little more than an expensive paperweight at the end of the day. Who has the time (or money) for all that?
Meanwhile, I was introduced to the Phalogenics penis enlargement exercise program and it got my attention. First of all, it’s not like anything else I’ve seen, heard of or tried. Plus, it’s backed by science and manufactured by a reputable company with years of industry experience and top-of-the-line standards. I went into my little “adventure” not knowing what to expect, so the following is my clumsy interpretation of what transpired.
What Is the Phalogenics Program?
“Phalo,” is the Latin word for “dick” and also the namesake of a popular penis extender that’s worthy of at least a few moments of your attention if nothing else. Phalogenics is being hailed as the fastest growing, all-natural penis enhancement system on the market. But, like you, I’m a raving skeptic when it comes to fantastic claims that promise to deliver what I thought was only possible in my wildest dreams – a bigger cock, a stronger erection and better sex as a result.
The Phalogenics lineup is a collection of exercise videos for your family jewels. It doesn’t require any special skills and, if done correctly, can provide some rather impressive growth in both length and girth. To understand how it works, however, you have to understand the underlying basics behind penis enlargement. Because I’m not a goddamn doctor here, I can only say that the powerful combination of stretching and resistance works in tandem to do its magic.
The Main Features
There are no pills, no pumps and no medications involved in the Phalogenics penis enlargement exercise program. What IS involved is a series of instructional DVDs that basically show men how to manipulate their dick in various ways to coax it into growing larger, fatter or straighter. Yes, you heard me correctly: The Phalogenics system is designed to help men with Peyronie’s disease as well.
The scientifically developed program is split up to make it easier to follow and digest. On top of that, it’s compatible with a three-part series of websites that are designed to support penile enlargement clients through the various stages of progress. The program is also set up to work in tandem with a program called “Advanced Sexual Mastery” which helps men improve sexual performance once their ideal penis size is finally achieved. According to the makers of Phalogenics – a unique group of Americans and Europeans – the program can make a man’s penis at least 2 to 4 inches longer within a few months.
Apparently, the manufacturers are confident enough in their work to offer a guarantee, which is something that’s relatively unheard of in the penis enlargement industry. Buyers get 60 days to decide if the program is right for them and if it isn’t, they get a full refund with no questions asked. Luckily for them, I experienced significant growth (about half an inch) before the 60-day mark and thus never asked for my cash back.
What You Get for the Money
While it’s not the most expensive penis enlargement product on the shelves, I’m still not sure how I feel about spending money on a set of DVDs that more or less show dudes different ways to manhandle their junk. Either way, this is what you get in the box when you buy the Phalogenics Penis Enlargement Exercise Program:
- The Platinum Phalogenics Video Series
- Three Bonuses, including:
- The instructional book “Release the Beast”
- The instructional book “The Magic Beanstalk”
- The instructional book “Porn Star Activation System”
- A general instruction manual
You won’t get any free lube samples or anything like that, but you will get the convenience of a dedicated customer service staff that’s available around the clock. And I would know, I deliberately called them 15 times in one day just to make sure they were as well-trained as they claimed to be. As it turns out, they all know their shit pretty well.
I should also note that the “Advanced Sexual Mastery” program is only free for the first 14 days. After that, you have to pay weekly to use it. Taking advantage of the program during the initial complimentary period is great because there’s no obligation but don’t be like me and forget to cancel. Phalogenics allows you to cancel your membership in the ASM program whenever you want; so, don’t be stupid because, in my opinion, it’s not worth the money.
How It Measures Up: A Concise Comparison
The Phalogenics program may be unique and it might have helped me grow my penis by at least half an inch, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best thing I’ve ever tried nor does it mean Phalogenics is my favorite penis enlargement option. In fact, it’s not even close to the top of my list. What can I say; all I want is a penis that hits the sweet spot, harder erections and some of that porn star staying power.
Near(er) to the top of my personal list of faves is the Quick Extender Pro if I’m quite honest. Not only does it require far less reading and self-manipulation but it’s a lot more discrete and comfortable to use. The QEP, which is made from an equally reputable manufacturer, can be worn under your pants to silently convince your dick to grow and straighten up, while the Phalogenics system requires a hands-on commitment of at least 20-30 minutes per session (and a DVD player; who has one of those anymore?).
Furthermore, my results with both were quite interesting. The Quick Extender Pro worked immediately but the subsequent results lasted for only a couple weeks (unless you use it for several months, then the results become more permanent). The Phalogenics Program, on the other hand, took a lot longer to work but provided semi-permanent results. Both made my penis grow significantly, although the length and girth improvements were far more noticeable after using the QEP.
Overall, the Phalogenics Penis Enlargement Exercise Program is a great tool for men who lack trust in modern-day science or the penile manipulation devices that come out of it, or for guys who want to take an interactive approach to their penis enhancement routine. I, for one, prefer the lazy way, especially when the results are similar and the procedure is more discreet.
The Cheers and Jeers
I’m not as picky as I sound in this review. I’m also a goddamn liar. My taste for all things sexual is so fucking refined that I can’t help but find flaws in what most people would call the perfect product. My mother calls it a curse; my balls call it a blessing.
With that said, it should come as no surprise that I have something negative (and positive) to say about the “Latin-inspired” Phalogenics Penis Enlargement Exercise Program (and it’s supposed “bonuses” too). So, without further ado, let’s all go to our happy place and get down to business because, quite frankly, this might hurt a little:
- It Gets the Job Done – The Phalogenics program actually works, which is surprising considering its relative simplicity.
- No Assembly Required – Because this program utilizes no external equipment (aside from your hands and a device on which to play the DVD), it’s one of the simplest penis enlargement products to use.
- Grab You Partner, Do-Si-Do – Did you know that the Phalogenic program was originally designed as a tool for partners to stimulate their lover’s erection? Ok, so that’s not entirely true and you don’t have to believe it, but it would be a lot cooler if you did.
- Just Say No, Kids – This program serves as a healthy alternative to drugs because drugs are bad, mmk?
- Sticks and Stones – Grow your bone with no pain or discomfort whatsoever. With the self-guided instructions, you’re always in complete control.
- Dick Tested, Doctor Approved – Due to the extremely low impact of the exercises in this program, combined with the overall effectiveness, and because of the scientifically-based development of it, doctors typically approve the use of Phalogenics for most men.
- Nice and Neat – There is hardly any cleanup involved with the use of this product. As a lazy pervert, I can certainly appreciate that.
- Don’t Touch the Perm – Phalogenics can provide semi-permanent results if the program is used as directed.
- One for All and All for One – Because this program uses no strap-on tools or dick devices, it’s appropriate for men of all shapes and sizes.
- Lazy Bones Has Left the Building – You can’t just strap this program to your dick and walk away. It requires a time and attention commitment that some men just can’t give.
- Back to the Future – Hopefully you have a DVD player or an internet-connected computer or smart phone because otherwise you won’t be able to use this program.
- Slow and Steady, Right? – Wrong. The Phalogenics program requires several 20-30-minute sessions per week and results aren’t even guaranteed. Plus, whatever results are achieved can take months to show up.
- Tick Tock – Unlike with penis pumps, pills and topical ointments, Phalogenics does not produce immediate results for the purposes of ad hoc sexual pursuits and is really only ideal for guys with no actual sex life currently.
- Shout It from the Mountain Tops – Everyone is going to find out you’re working on the size of your dick because you can’t wear the program under your pants discreetly.
- Does Anyone Really Know? – Most penis enhancement products claim no guarantees and the Phalogenics program is no exception. Your results will vary from mine and will differ widely from what’s described on their site.
In today’s world, you can’t ask for perfection unless you want to get laughed at. It seems as though products are built with an intrinsic nature to fail or require extra supplies and equipment that’s either rare, expensive or both. The biggest redeeming characteristic of the Phalogenics program is that it grows with you and comes with practically everything you need already.
The Final Verdict
I can’t talk too much shit about the Phalogenics Penis Enlargement Exercise Program or else I really would be a damned dirty liar. To be fair, the program works and it’s painless, plus it’s good to use with a lover and can accommodate men of all shapes and sizes. However, I think maybe it would be better suited as a complementary product instead of a stand-alone solution to small, flaccid or curved penises.
What I’m trying to say is, I’d suggest using the Phalogenics exercise routine in conjunction with a good stamina training unit or manual masturbator (like a super soft pocket pussy or detached sex toy sleeve for instance). Adding a little texture or automation wouldn’t hurt either. I’m just throwing out ideas here, but the point I’m making is that the program seems incomplete in a mysterious sort of way and you’ll probably have to compensate for that somehow.
So, if you’re going to spend your money on this product, I’d suggest thinking about what your ideal penis enlargement routine would look like. Do you see yourself hiding, huddled in your unkept bedroom trying to manually exercise your family jewels into submission? Or, do you see yourself sitting back to relax while a well-made device does all the work for you? I know which one I would choose, but then again, I’m not really the hands-on type.