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Easter Bunny Came Early This Year And Brought a Basket Of Naughty Egg Sex Toys

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John James is an Internet Entrepreneur living in Sacramento, California. When he's not doing Internet Marketing, he enjoys blogging, sports, and healthy vegan lifestyle. Find out more about him on the About us page.

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Easter Bunny Came Early This Year And Brought a Basket Of Naughty Egg Sex Toys
4.2 (83.64%) 11 votes

We recently got our paws on these little things called Tenga Eggs and, at first, we weren’t sure what we were dealing with. For one, we didn’t know what to expect once the thing was unwrapped, so we held our breath and prepared for the coming surprise. It turns out the Tenga Egg is this cool pocket-sized masturbating accessory, so obviously, our interest was immediately piqued.

Upon closer inspection, it was clear that the Tenga Egg was not a kid-friendly gift from the Easter Bunny – at least, not from the Easter Bunny we remember. Furthermore, it didn’t take too long before our team was lost in a mountain of deconstructed eggs and lubricants, as well as these floppy cup-looking things that looked like a contact lens and a used condom fucked and had a flaccid baby. If we didn’t already know what they were supposed to be used for, we might have mistaken them for larva and called the exterminator.

Despite their unusual appearance, we discovered that each of the Tenga Eggs would give us a different sensation. Running our fingers along the surface we felt the unique patterning of soft ribbons and bumps along the inside of each. Unfortunately, we didn’t prepare ourselves because the little buggers didn’t look like much. Boy, were we wrong.

If you like a pleasant penis surprise, you’ll probably dig the eggs. Chances are, you’ll find something you like in the dirty dozen. In fact, the Tenga brand, which sells everything from vibrators to lotions, offers 17 different egg models to choose from.tenga-egg

What Is the Tenga Egg?

The Tenga egg is this thin piece of malleable plastic that is designed to enhance masturbation. It feels a bit like a mixture between skin, rubber, plastic, and playdough. It is dome-shaped just like an egg, hence the clever nomenclature. It is made by a popular UK-based company that is known for its unique variety of convenient sex toys.

The egg, which comes in a variety of sexy styles, can be purchased singly or in a pack. We tried out the pack just so we could experience some random excitement. After a while of testing sex toys, not much catches your attention anymore. It did, however, occur to us that the Tenga Egg is one of the only sex toys on the market that is suitable for all penis sizes.

CLICK HERE TO CHECK CUSTOMER REVIEWS ON AMAZON

How Is It Used?

The Tenga Egg is rather rudimentary, which makes it surprising that nobody else has invented one yet. The first step involves you unwrapping it from its plastic packaging and popping open the egg like one of those fake Easter eggs you find in the yard. There will not be candy or money inside, just the egg and a packet of Tenga-brand lubricant tucked in the center. We weren’t happy about it either, until we started using it. how-to-use-tenga-egg3

Designed to be used either alone or with a partner, we suggest getting it out and ready before you start (if possible). Simply squeeze some of the lube into the egg-shaped cup, squish it a little to ensure proper coating, and then slide it over your dick like a huge condom. It won’t feel so amazing at first, but just wait.

We split our team into two groups, and each group got all 17 egg varieties. Group One was manual, and Group Two had a partner. Both groups reported that the sensation was pretty much the same, given the different sources of pumping. The manufacturer does not recommend using this thing internally, so don’t get any ideas. Just lay back and enjoy what the modern world has given you – a disposable dick sock that’s ribbed for your pleasure.

Our Honest Opinion

We know, as well as you know, that all sex toys are not the same. When you’re holding something in the palm of your hand, there’s a chance you might second guess its durability and value. After using the shit out of these things, here are the pros and cons that our team came up with:

THE PROS

  • Play the Field: there are a dozen and a half different textures to try
  • Destroy the Evidence: they are completely disposable
  • Push It to the Limits: the material stretches to accommodate all penis sizes
  • Have It Your Way: they allow for customizable speed and pressure
  • Tuck and Run: they’re the size of an actual egg
  • The Complete Package: everything you need to pump one out is contained inside the egg

THE CONS

  • Waste Not, Want Not: they can only be used once (or twice if you’re nasty)
  • Show Me the Money: they’re kind of expensive considering how often you have to replace them
  • A Rose by Any Other Name: some of the textures didn’t feel much different from the others (or maybe our dicks were raw)

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We had a lot of positive things to say about the Tenga Egg, but nothing on today’s market is perfect. After all, if we didn’t have some qualms with these things you’d think we were trying to sell you shit. Our objective here is to help you achieve the best nut of your life. That’s all. Choose for yourself.

FUNNY TENGA EGG COMMERCIAL

CLICK HERE TO CHECK CUSTOMER REVIEWS ON AMAZON

A Quick Overview of the Brand Lineup

As mentioned, the Tenga brand offers 17 different Eggs. We took the time to examine each one closely, because if you’re anything like us, you take your jizz seriously. Here is a simple guide to help you figure out which one, if any, is right for your dick. You’re welcome(click on the images to enlarge them):

 

cool

cool-2Cool – the Egg itself isn’t anything to write home about, but it comes with a package of menthol-infused lube to give your dick a cool kick in the pants.

 

clickerclicker-2Clicker – features various sized nubs placed wall-to-wall, giving stimulation to your throbbing cock from all directions.

 

cloudy

cloudy-2Cloudy – as the thickest Egg in the series, it has some resistance which creates a feeling just like soft pussy walls do.

 

crater

crater-2Crater – has a crown-like detail on the inside to make your dick feel like a king, and indentations along the walls which basically adhere to your shaft and provide a gentle tug.

 

dance

dance-2Dance – nothing special about this one, besides the colorful art on the outside of the egg and the mold of a man dancing on the walls, both of which are in honor of Keith Haring and designed to help you get your rocks off in style.

 

lovers-heart

lovers-heart2Lovers Heart – offers a package of lube which creates a slight warming sensation designed to enhance couples play.

 

misty

misty2Misty – features a bunch of little nubs which, after a while, blend into a single sensation and feel like a vibrator.

 

party

party2Party – another Keith Haring Tribute Egg, this one uses overlapping molds shaped like men partying to create a one-of-a-kind feeling and a unique design.

 

shiny

shiny2Shiny – has a sun-like shape on the top and “rays” cascading down the inside walls to give users what they call “a gleaming smile.” We thought it was more like a “satisfactory grin,” but what do we know?

 

silky

silky2Silky – it has a circular ribbon twisting all the way from the top to the bottom, which is why we suggest using this one with some fancy wrist action.

 

spider

spider-2Spider – features a web-like structure that encases the dick all over, creating a grid of good sex.

 

stepper

stepper2Stepper – it will turn your dick into a sexy xylophone and that’s about all we have to say about it.

 

street

street-2Street – the third and final Keith Haring Egg, this one’s molds look like a dude skateboarding, which can feel kind of nice if you’re into that sort of thing.

 

surfer

surfer-2Surfer – with gallant waves of nubs and ribbons, this one will make you feel like your dick is in the washing machine (in a good way). We suggest warming it up before you use it, because whoa.

 

thunder

thunder-2Thunder – firm, vertical, strong, sharp, and kind of rebellious – those are the words that come to mind when we try to describe this one.

 

twister

twister-2Twister – does all the work for you using a series of twisted ribbons that go from the dome to the opening, so combine it with additional wrist motions at your own risk.

 

wavy

wavy-2Wavy – it reminds us of the natural contours felt in the vagina or asshole, making it one of our favorites in the entire lineup.

 

WHERE TO BUY:

LOVEHONEY.com (best price and fastest delivery)

AMAZON

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Our Final Thoughts

Granted, it’s fun to accessorize your sexual experience. What’s not fun, however, is running around with blue balls trying to chase down a new Egg every time you want to feel something better than a palm. If you are a fan of experiencing different sensations on your cock but you’re not into the whole “keeping inventory” thing, we suggest using something else.

Sure, the Tenga Eggs are cool, compact, and fun, but nothing quite does the trick like a good old fashioned fake vagina like the Fleshlight – one that you can whip out at any moment and give major hell to. Plus, the Fleshlight brand offers a bunch of compact versions as well, which you can find by clicking here. You can also read Tenga Flip Hole review which has similarities with the fleshlight.  Also you might check out all other male masturbator brands we have reviewed. We don’t know about you, but we don’t like waiting for the mail to come . . . to come. Just saying.

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About the author

John James

John James is an Internet Entrepreneur living in Sacramento, California. When he's not doing Internet Marketing, he enjoys blogging, sports, and healthy vegan lifestyle. Find out more about him on the About us page.


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