There aren’t a lot of sex toys left on the market that we haven’t tried yet. Our dicks are kept primed and stay ready to receive, but they are quite demanding with discerning tastes and an eye for detail. Although we’ve sampled just about everything, we can still tell a good masturbator from a bad one. We recently tried out the Max and it’s certainly worth mentioning. But where does it stand in comparison to the other masturbators we’ve reviewed? Let’s find out.
What Is the Max?
The Max is this handheld male masturbator toy that has gotten a lot of attention lately, and we got to find out why for ourselves last week when our boss dropped boxes of them on our throbbing laps. It is designed for men only, obviously, but can supposedly fit up to 95% of penises. However, some of the guys on our team had a hard time bottoming out because of their length, but nobody gives a damn about jerkoffs (just kidding).
One of the things we noticed about the Max is that features a skin-like material just like the higher end masturbators we’ve tried. Although there’s nothing developed yet that can beat the SuperSkin material of the Fleshlight brand, we still got that tingle in our toes. But before we tell you about what it felt like, let’s talk more about the specifics.
Lovense Brand Promotional Video
The Main Features
Upon examining the Max, we spotted a few key differences that made it worthy of this review (even if it ends up not being worthy of your money). While it is somewhat expensive when put up against comparable models, it does feature some high-tech bells and whistles that we can appreciate. The Max has a vibrating sequence and a patent-pending air pump design that, when used in tandem, oscillate and undulate along the shaft of the penis to create a realistic blowjob-like sensation – complete with an air vent for customized suction control. Not bad for a sex toy that’s small enough to fit into the bedside drawer, but what do we know?
Furthermore, the battery is rechargeable and the whole contraption is Bluetooth compatible. So why would you need a Bluetooth-ready sex toy? Because, the Max lets you play with your mate remotely which makes long distance relationships a lot more exciting. Your mate must have the same device though (Max or Nora), so that could put a damper on things if it’s not in the budget, but that’s the case with every single comparable toy out there. However, the key feature of the Max – it’s soft and pliable yet rigid and stimulating inner lining – is what makes it worth a second look.
What Comes in the Box?
We had heard about the inner lining from our boss who told us to pay special attention to it, so when we tore open the box it was the first thing we checked out. Half of us stuck our fingers in it, the other half our tongues (don’t ask). Once the party was over (a.k.a. we got caught being jackasses by our boss), we started looking at the box and its contents.
We like how a lot of manufacturers send some lube and cleaning supplies with their product, but the makers of the Max did not. Inside the box, which was relatively plain, lay the Max masturbator, a USB Bluetooth dongle, a charging cable (also USB), and an owner’s manual. That’s it. So, if you’re going to use the Max be sure your toy box is full of pre-bought fuck supplies. Heck, it’s probably a good idea to do that anyway.
What It Feels Like
Now the fun part: trying to describe to you guys what even our cocks couldn’t explain. So first, we got out our lube and applied it our junk then we slid it inside the opening, trying to pay attention to the details while our eyes rolled back in our heads.
Somewhere in the midst of it all, we noticed that the internal lining is cushiony and soft yet brutally intricate – like 100 enthusiastic whore’s tongues giving your dick a bath. After a proper cock cleaning, we wiped things off and smoked a come-down cigarette. And since the Max was controlled with our smartphones, we had to explain to our partners why our data limit was exceeded so fast.
Our Cheers and Jeers
Reading this review you’d think we left our lovers for a sex toy. We did not. Despite the cool design and pleasurable sensations, we are still getting manual blowjobs and handies from our spouses. For now, we’re cool with that.
As with everything else we’ve tried, we found some things we liked and didn’t like. Nothing is perfect, we know that. But if we don’t give these manufacturers a run for their money, then who will? We’ve tried to play fair here, and we never have an agenda. So, here are the qualms and concerns we had with the Max:
The things we thought were cool:
- Give It Hell: The battery is rechargeable, and the lifespan is decent.
- Pump It: That multi-setting air pump is pretty neat and it feels like a million bucks on our shaft, we must admit.
- Vibe It Out: The internal texture is more than enough to make you cum, but then the thing vibrates and finishes you off.
- In Sync: Using your smartphone as a remote control, you can fuck your friend from afar if they have the Max or Nora. The app is free to download and has fewer bugs than the hooker you won’t have to hire.
- Wading in the Water: It’s not fully waterproof but it is splash-proof, so there’s that.
- Going in Deep: From the opening to the bottom, there is enough room to accommodate almost all dicks – big or small (except for you fat cocked freaks out there).
- Safety First: The material and mechanisms are completely safe and 100% hypoallergenic, so if you get a rash it’s someone else’s fault.
The things we thought were not so cool:
- Give Me Some Skin: That sleeve material isn’t the best shit we’ve felt if we’re going to be honest. Not only did we have to clean our toy, we also had to wipe a slimy film off our dicks.
- Get It Wet: We would have liked to take this bad boy with us to the shower or bathtub, but the fact that it’s only splash-proof is not enough. Bummer.
- No Secrets: There is no hiding this thing from unexpected company. It looks like a masturbator, it feels like a masturbator, and it doesn’t come with a storage bag or carrying case.
- Sleeve Me Alone: Unfortunately, there is only one sleeve available for the Max right now, which means you better like what you get or else you’re out about 100 bucks.
SIMILAIR HIGH-TECH MASTURBATION OPTIONS:
- Kiiroo Onyx 2
- Handsfree Electric Device
- Enhanced by a Video Chat platform and Virtual Reality Porn
- Fleshlight™ Superskin™ material (Feels great)
- Discreet and wireless design
- Autoblow 2
- Hands Free Robotic Blowjob Toy
- Does not need batteries
- Uses interchangeable sleeves
- Robust construction
- Fleshlight Launch
- Compatible with standard size Fleshlight toys
- Automatic, handsfree, portable device
- Sleek, discreet design
- Wireless Bluetooth connectivity
- Hands Free Automatic Sex Simulator
- Does not need batteries
- Discreet Appearance
- Impressive German Engineering
What can we say? We like our fuck toys to come with a few options and some impressive material. If we liked monotony and boredom, we wouldn’t need to use this shit in the first place. Is it wrong that we want to cum so hard our balls fall off? We don’t think so.
WHERE TO BUY:
Our Final Verdict
At the end of the day, we suppose that spending $100 on a handheld masturbator with customizable vibratory functions and smartphone-compatible Bluetooth capability isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sex toys are getting a lot more high-tech these days, that’s for sure. The Max is definitely worth the money if you’re single or in a long-distance relationship. But, if you want to use the Max to its full potential you’ll have to come prepared and have your partner do the same.
Furthermore, if you’re not hooked up to the Bluetooth or app, and if the vibrations are off, then the Max is just a fist-sized fuck toy with a halfway decent inner lining and a weird air pump that tries to feel like a blow job. We’re pretty sure you can get a disappointing handie for half the price, and there’s no extra lube or cleaning supplies to buy either.
If we’re going to be honest, and we are, we thought the Max was a relatively awkward toy, mostly because of the 4 different functions that must work together to give a good lay. At the same time, the Max felt very good on our dicks when it was working as intended, and the Bluetooth feature makes real-time sex with a distant partner a lot more passionate. For the price, you can’t get a toy like this anywhere but that’s a decision we will leave in your hands . . . along with your throbbing cock.
You can get more information or buy the Lovense Max at their official website.