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Top Silicone Sex Dolls 2018 & a Buying Guide

There are still some idiots out there who believe that spending a few stacks on a well-made sex doll is a stupid idea. Those are the same assholes who spend hundreds on dinner dates, movies, flowers, and candy for a single woman, only to be sent home with blue balls at the end of the night. We will continue to let those suckers waste their hard-earned money while we reap the benefits of modern science.

You heard it right: modern science is responsible for generating an entire lineup of hyper-realistic sex dolls that come in every shape and color. Instead of working towards a cure for cancer, the world’s most talented geniuses have toiled tirelessly to bring men synthetic sex that rivals organic coatis, and we couldn’t be more grateful. Unfortunately, the dudes that would benefit the most from this innovation are subject to sticker shock when they see the price. If only our dicks had as much insight as our brains.

That may very well be part of the problem, assuming there is one. The cost of a good sex doll is bound to be expensive. After all, a selfie job is 100% free but it stinks to high heaven after the first dozen times. Hookers can be economical and website are a ton of fun, but those things only take you so far and aren’t exactly the safest way to bust a nut. We live in a world where you get what you pay for, and that may or may not explain why many of the best sex dolls cost a few thousand dollars. Nothing says quality like a price that filters out the riff-raff. These things are obviously made for serious perverts who have no time to fuck around with useless shit.

So, You Want to Buy a Sex Doll?

We just so happen to be a part of the group of insightful individuals who can tell a good investment when we see one. Today’s sex dolls are not the corny, thin plastic, pieces of shit they used to be, and people aren’t looking at sex doll buyers are super freaks anymore either. Times have drastically changed, and so the sex dolls on the market these days are as close to real as science is likely to get for a while.

With that said, it might be helpful to educate yourself on what all is available. While you were out shoveling cash for a piece of ass, we were sitting here frantically fucking a mountain of sex dolls to give our readers some insight that they might actually use. The sex doll industry is a lot bigger than it used to be and it’s only getting bigger, which means there are more options than you can shake a stick at. With the average sex doll priced anywhere from $1,000-$10,000, we’re willing to bet that none of you want to buy one only to be disappointed with its quality or abilities upon opening the box.

Where Do We Go from Here?

In a world inundated with a sex dolls ranging greatly in quality and price, it can be very difficult to find the right one before spending too much money. Relax; we’re here to help. Let’s get the party started by going through the various sex doll categories currently offered to the average bear.

Most of the time, shoppers can find the type of doll they desire regardless of how much money they’ve got to spend. Synthetic sex slaves come in standard, mid-range, and luxury models. For the purposes of this buyer’s guide, however, we’re only going to talk about the cream of the crop because, frankly, that’s the only shit that matters. High-end sex dolls typically come in the following categories:

  • Big breasted
  • MILFs
  • Flat-Chested
  • Black
  • Caucasian
  • Asian
  • Hispanic
  • Thick and Curvy
  • Thin
  • Female
  • Male
  • Transgender
  • Torsos

That last category – torsos – is an interesting spin-off of the full-bodied models that we will be reviewing heavily here. While some of the luxury torsos on the market are quite nice, we’re talking about the whole shebang right now, so hold your horses. Let’s get down to the brass taxes, shall we?

How to Find High-End Honeys

Sex dolls on the luxury level are seriously the only kinds we like to fuck with. Otherwise, the whole experience isn’t much different than wasting our spooge inside a pocket pussy. While there is certainly a time and place for those bad boys, there are also times when we men want a little more bang for our buck. That’s where high-end honeys come into play. They’re usually made from the best materials on the planet – real skin-like stuff that’s durable as hell and easy to clean.

Moreover, the best sex dolls out there will have the minutest of details handled like a boss. You like chicks with big lips, bumpy areolas, or fat clits? There’s a doll for that. We’re not even kidding when we say that the highest-end dolls on the market are only one step away from being real girls. The only thing missing is the animation and free will, but those things are usually what get in the way of a good time anyway.

On your journey to locate the perfect doll date, don’t forget to consider the following features or else you might get stuck fucking one of those old-school cheap shits that are just downright embarrassing:

  • The Weight Distribution – She should weigh enough to stay.

Your sex doll shouldn’t fly across the room or deflate every time you fuck it. A real chick doesn’t do that; it just feels like it sometimes. The best synthetic sex slaves have an excellent weight distribution due to the high-end “skeleton” contained within. They are more than inflatable balloons with convenient holes; they are incredibly contoured and life-like. Moreover, a sturdy bone structure allows these luxury dolls to hold various positions more easily (and for much longer), making them more enjoyable by default.

  • The Body Type – She needs to be well-equipped to play.

While shopping around, you won’t be able to ignore the sheer variety of body types available. Like we touched on previously in this review, high-end sex dolls can come in any shape or size you’d like. In fact, some manufacturers allow clients to customize their dolls down to the kinkiest detail. The sex doll you choose should have noticeable physical attributes that make it super realistic, because that’s the point.

  • The Complexion – She needs to feel like a real girl.

We’re not talking red, yellow, black, or white here. We’re talking about what the skin on the doll feels like. Your product should remind you of actual human skin, and should be much more realistic-feeling than even the famous SuperSkin material advertised by popular sex toy makers like Fleshlight. The best sex dolls are made from high-quality, medical-grade, macro-molecule silicone. The “flesh” is also platinum cured, preventing oils which keep the synthetic skin moist from seeping out over time. Indeed, these folks have thought of everything.

  • The Fun Holes – She should cause you to reconsider reality.

Sex dolls worth the money will offer more than the use of excellent materials and well-made bodies. The internal vaginal walls of the doll will be textured in such a way that customers will second guess their relationships with real people. If manual masturbators can be made with a variety of sleeve linings to suit any taste, imagine what they’ve come up with for luxury sex dolls.

  • The Appearance – She needs to give you a visual boner.

At the end of the day, none of us want to slam our ham into a busted bitch, even if she does have an amazing vaginal wall and knows how to keep her mouth shut. Part of the fantasy is the visual appeal, so be sure to go for a sex doll that looks yummy. Of course, “yummy” is an operative word that depends on the personal preferences of the customer, but we feel like when you see it, you’ll know it. We did.

  • The Cost – Her price tag needs to match her resume.

All bitches fetch a high price, and that’s because money is for nothing if chicks are free. You’re already going to spend money to get laid, so why not spend it only once instead of repeatedly? It all adds up in the end. Wouldn’t you want to know that your inevitably spent cash went towards a high-quality piece of ass? A luxury sex doll is certainly an investment; we’ll give you that, but a good investment is what separates the boys from the men.

Avoid It Like the Plague

Speaking of separation, there are some sex doll attributes that we think you should write down in your Little Black Book of Red Flags. If the doll you’re considering has any of these qualities, it’s best that you either run or quit being a cheapskate and opt for a higher-end model. We know this from experience.

Unfortunately, the mid-range sex dolls are somewhat difficult to tell apart from the luxury models, at least to the untrained eye. The manufacturers of these ho-hum fuck fairies do a very good job of handling the basics, but it’s when you delve deeper into the details that you can clearly see the difference. Despite your initial inability to spot or feel the variances, keep in mind that most mid-range and standard-issue sex dolls fall apart quickly and tend to have numerous imperfections in the overall design.

The reason for those imperfections is simple: the doll is made from a lower grade set of materials, namely TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) or industrial silicone. Most are not cured in platinum either, which means the moisturizing oils will eventually seep out of the skin and begin to dry out the doll. While TPE is a terrific material, it’s not very life-like feeling and is more porous than silicone, meaning it can become damaged or absorb stains better than a sponge. At that rate, you will be buying a new doll every 3 to 5 years. No Bueno.

One more thing to look at is the skeletal structure and durability of the doll you like. She may look incredible and have a vaginal/anal/oral wall that’s out of this world, but if she’s made like shit she won’t be keeping you company for long. Sex dolls worth your time will have skeletons made from metals that are thinner, lighter, and more brittle than the metals used for expensive dolls (obviously). You may not give a damn about that right now, but you will. And oh, how you will, especially when she snaps in half mid-nut.

Great Expectations

Generally speaking, average sex dolls stand about 5 feet tall. However, height specifications can be determined before making your purchase (in some cases). Obviously, storage of full-size dolls can be a problem, so the wonderful world of porn has also developed mini dolls and torsos. And while that may seem a little creepy at first, there are numerous good reasons for the shrinkage. Perverts think of everything; what do you expect?

Mini dolls stand about 3 feet tall and, in our opinion, are perfect for newbies and discretionary users. They are typically lightweight by comparison, making them much easier to maneuver than full-sized models. Additionally, shrunken dolls make terrific practice for folks who aren’t sure whether they’ll enjoy the experience. The realistic shape and weight of this option, however, makes masturbation much easier and more satisfying given that the doll provides something to hold on to.

WARNING: If you do all that, expect to be pleasantly surprised. It’s our advice not to spend too much on a torso, mini doll, or pocket pussy because you’ll want to save for the full-sized honey. Unless you’re ok with always fucking in the missionary position or you don’t mind that your girl is missing limbs, mini dolls and torsos will get old after a while. The best part about a full-size sex doll is that she has an open pussy, ass, and mouth for your pleasure. Mini dolls, torsos, and pocket pussies only have one or two of those options and that shit is lame.


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